I have never had a harder time in deciding whom to vote for, if at all. It has always been quite easy. The choice was always between left and right, and being a left - winger, the choice was clear. I voted for whomever would bring the peace and work towards equality. But now nothing is so obvious.

I remember discussions everywhere, during the American elections (by America I mean United States - yes, I know the difference). It was said that it was about choosing the lesser of two evils. Ha ha. I say. Two evils? Ha ha, I say again. One is a moron and one is a robot. No law against either. Stupidity would not be my first choice in presidential qualities, but it's no crime. And The US have had their share of robots as presidents.

But let me tell you about evil. As some journalist succinctly put it: "Out of all the inhabitants in the State of Israel, we have to choose between the two least fitting for the job of Prime Minister."

Let's start with the challenger: Ariel Sharon. He was a great general in the IDF. Very famous for his heroic deeds. Beside his random acts of kindness to Arabs, because of which they love him so much, he was also very independent and strong-willed. Let me mention two of his greater achievements in relation to the army: The first was in the Yom Kippur war. He disobeyed a direct order not to attack an Egyptian stronghold, which led to the unjustified death of about 30 Israeli soldiers. In the Lebanon war, he is held responsible for the Sabra and Shatila Massacre, camps in which Lebanese were massacared.

When he was Minister of Defence, he deliberately lied to the Prime Minister then, Menachem Begin, about the war, which caused Israel to enter a war which no one really wanted except for him. Due to this, he was judged by a committee, and disallowed ever to be a Minister of Defence again. And this man, who is not allowed by Israeli Law to be Minister of Defence, is going to be our next Prime Minister.

And to the defender, Ehud Barak. I voted for him, but he doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone except himself, including the Israeli law. What was the first thing he did when he was appointed Prime Minister? Changed a Constitutional law. What person with a little respect for the country he lives in would do that? And why did he change the law, you might ask. For the sole reason of strengthening his position and weakening everyone around him. The law was that the Israeli Government consists of 18 ministers. Now it's 24, just so that each minister will have less power. It is agreed by just about everyone, including those who voted for him, that he has made every mistake possible as Prime Minister. He has not made ONE correct decision. He allocated ministers so that they will not be in a post that fits them, and so will not be in a position of power. So that everyone got a chair that does not fit their abilities. Of course, that reduces their efficiency, which is bad for the country. He lied to the public that voted for him. He promised a civilian revolution, and entered into an alliance with Shas, the ultra-religious party. He got Meretz to leave the government. Now, for those of you unfamiliar with Israeli politics, Meretz (which I voted for, and was completely disappointed by), is left-wing, and a bunch of spineless wankers, who also lied to their public, when they joined the government with Shas. The point is, that to get a bunch of wimps like Meretz to leave the government takes a lot of stupidity.

And then at last he makes one move, which seems courageous and resigns. Hooray. And then what does he do? He runs again in the elections that were made by his resigning. Okay, so if you thought you're not good enough to run this country, why are you running again? If you thought you are, why did you resign? So if he gets elected, he's right in the same place he resigned from. No change. What's he going to do then? Resign again, and run again, until he loses or the country is bankrupt from election expenses?

So this is the choice we face: two men incapable of running the country. Who to vote for? I'm voting for Elvis.