Monday..we got back from
CT last night around 11pm, spent four more hours on the net. Today, went to Port Jefferson, a little seaside town here in Long Island. Found a
coffee bar called
Tiger Lily, reminded me of
Insomnia, back in Florida. Alot. Hung out for a bit, then continued exploring.
I feel so lost here in a way in
Long Island. I mean, I'm back HOME, in
New England. Yet I feel like a foriegner. When I arrived in
Palm Harbor,
Florida, two years ago, I knew I was an outsider, and acted thus. The defensiveness I held
blunted the reactions I recieved as a crazy northern
transplant. Now that I'm "
home" I have no such armor. And I don't want it.
I guess the
problem is that when was down there, almost right off the bat, I found myself in a "
circle". I do like being
alone,
strive for it, but now that I have it (have nothing), I'm left
wanting for more.
"So go out and make
friends"
Sure. I don't want new friends. Just more to
lose. But that's not how life works, and we all know that.
Doesn't make it any easier.