The La Bria Tar Pits of my Life
I
wonder just why is that I continue to make a mess out of my
emotional well-being by
situations I either
create or just plain let
happen. Talked to
verity last night in
Virginia. She wants to fly up for a weekend to see me, and
Long Island. I'm in shock, pleasant shock, but
shock nonetheless. This is a girl I made every effort to push away when I met her in
Florida out of the guilt that I was in no way good enough for her. At the time it didn't help that I was massively
depressed with
life in general. Now things are different, with me, and her, and life in general. It makes me step back and really think about her in a new
light. She was always a true
friend, for the short time I knew her, but I still think she deserves better than me. I look forward to seeing her though, and I'm through pushing away light. A little
sun never
hurt the
darkness, just makes it harder to
hide in the shadows.
The
phone is on!
Huzzah. It only took
Verizon (
The Evil Empire Part Deux) three
weeks to hook it up. I tore it up last night, calling
Florida, reaching out to numbers I had almost forgotten. Talked to my little
taurus girl friend there, she said she stopped frequenting
Insomnia, since I don't go there anymore. They always knew how to bolster my
ego, those Florida girls.
I'm still in
shock about the news from
Baltimore. Not really my place to get into
specifics, concerning where I'm writing this, but I feel a
sense of
loss creeping up on me,
very quietly, with a very large, nail studded 2x4 in
paw.
I make a good target.