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Star Trek: The Original Series dream last night. I'm not a trekkie, and I haven't even watched an episode in months. I'm just a twisted fuck.

Star Trek: Space Opera: I don't think I was Captain Kirk, exactly, but I did seem to be in charge of the Enterprise. We had been boarded by pirates. Not space pirates, pirates of the ocean. They seemed to think they controlled the ship, and were about to dismantle it to claim the metal, for they were suffering from a steel shortage of some kind. They had no useful weapons, but eventually one of them found a couple of phasers that the crew had mistaken misplaced. I stunned him with my phaser and grabbed his. When he recovered, he pulled another one, so I had to stun him again. He was very confused, because I think he didn't know what a phaser was, and didn't believe a weapon could just stun you. Eventually, the primary crew (Bones, Spock, Uhura, Scotty, a red shirt, and myself) allowed ourselves to be captured, just for amusement. During the trial (mutiny? I'm not sure) I declared "Transport!" and we all hit our magic federation buttons and beamed to engineering, scaring the heck out of the pirates in the process. (I know, the magic federation buttons didn't exist until TNG). But Bones got screwed up during transport, and was stuck in the floor, and while I was trying to help him, the ship shook like crazy, like it had been hit, and a computer monitor fell on me, pinning me to the floor. Then the pirates came rushing in, and I kept having to stun them to keep them from overwhelming us. Too many Trek dreams. Maybe I'm supposed to be a Trekkie. I just can't bear the smell of other Trekkies, though.