Writing bad poetry may be as easy as breathing, but writing truly horrendous poetry is actually rather difficult--superlatives are demanding masters. Often, the worst poetry is written by people who are really very good authors in real life. My favorite worst poem is by Saki, from his "Reginald's Rubaiyat".
"Have you heard the groan of a gravelled grouse,
Or the snarl of a snaffled snail
(Husband or mother, like me, or spouse),
Have you lain a-creep in the darkened house
Where the wounded wombats wail?"
"Even I felt worked up now and then at the thought of that house with the stricken wombats in it. It simply wasn't nice."
There you have it. As you can see, truly horrendous poetry is clearly an art form, and you, grasshopper, are about to enter its world. One final hint: try using ridiculous metaphors to strenghten your meaning. Nothing screams horrendous like a ... raw metaphor.
I shall now attempt an example, in an effort to save my write-up. It really can (in my defense) be tricky to follow all the rules, but here goes:
oH! wHat a dReadful, dark, and, DrearY, life is lost...
How could she leave my world
the Earth, perhaps--
To
merely make a mockery of mawkish mewing marbles ???
And like, as
Shakespeare (the
bard of bards) has said (so long ago, methinks):
"
There's a divinity that shapes our hens, for
the best laid plans of mice and mens..."
AH! My life seems to drain; my lips turn
orange
And all the
gametes, all the pretty
sporang ... ium
Will never spring forth LIFE nor come to age
No
Bar Mitzvah will this boy endure (nor rabbits in the dark his eyes
perjure)
For in the end, the world is a
tennis champion
Attributed to Sir Walter Helmholtz Neverland LVIII