I was told by someone of Jewish background that hell was a state of being where all your rationalizations that make the mistakes and wrongdoings of daily life manageable were stripped away and you were left to face how truly awful you are. If that is the case, I think I have encountered hell on earth. Some days, none of the excuses you make for yourself seem to fly. You know are screwing things up, and you know it is your fault. You are not a perfect person, not even as close to perfect as you would like to believe. And when faced with a reality with a total lack of excuses, your ego is ripped away like so much tissue paper and you can do nothing but quiver helplessly and hope that tomorrow your rose coloured glasses will be back from the repair shop. Thankfully there are days in which the exact opposite happens and everything seems to be wonderful. Life is beautiful and you can cope. If you are lucky, these days balance each other out completely.