It's been a while since the last
daynode so I take that as a good sign that I'm in better shape than I have been for a while. It hasn't changed much so I guess I got used to it. Whether that is a bad thing or not, I still haven't determined yet so I don't know what to do about it. To heck with it all right? Let the world deal with what has become of me. I don't live with myself. I only have to look at myself in the mirror. That's even worse.
Therapy has finally ended, actually almost 4 weeks ago. I stopped going simply because I didn't want to think anymore. The world no longer seemed to matter anymore. Many would
misunderstand and simply believe that I might be at the breaking point and to some degree, they are. But moreover, I think its all about getting to the point of
apathy in some deeds. I'm don't really give a hoot about much in the world and won't spare one's feelings when I don't have to but I won't go out and do evil you know? I'm still not dealing with
depression well but who does right? At least I tell myself that I simply will deal with it later. Emotional
procrastination. Maybe I just coined a new
psychiatric term. I feel prouder already.
The
Baby V.O.X 5 - "Boyish Story" came out yesterday. I got me a copy of it and I love it already! How
simple minds have the simplest
pleasures. It's ballads are calming me down and it's faster beats getting my feet moving as I sit in my armchair. It's nice to listen to some good music while watching
Jeanette Lee's body filling up my TV screen.
Billiards hasn't ever been as interesting until I see a beautiful asian woman who kicks major butt play the game. But enough drooling for now I suppose.
It's the second week in a row that I've worked a 40 hour work week. It's tiring and I never knew how
constricted I was before until I didn't have time to spend time with friends and family. I've only seen
MrFurious. But at least my physical body is getting better due to the higher amounts of chest exercises, free weights, and other such activities. I feel good about myself for the first time in a long while, at least physically, even though I'm tired as hell. I don't mind. What else can I say?
Loneliness is a burden that shouldn't be handled by anymore but its simply a
facet of everyday life. It never gets any easier nor does it get much harder but still, it isn't something that is pleasant to deal with. If you don't think about it as much, you don't seem as lonely, and if you fill your schedule, you don't have time to think. It's a
temporary solution for a permanent problem but what the heck.