How to make your very own Spud Mortar

THIS IS PROBABLY A BLOODY SILLY THING TO DO, SO IF YOU DAMAGE YOURSELF WHILST DOING THIS DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU

Equipment

1 x PVC spaghetti tube (tall cylindrical tube used for storing spaghetti)
1 x large can of hairspray
1 x rolling pin (or any suitably stout prodding device)
A quantity of large potatoes, and
1 x gas hob (preferably one that can be rigged up outside)

Construction and Firing

  • Place the spaghetti tube on the un-lit gas hob

  • Spray hairspray inside said tube, until a inch deep layer is formed

  • Ram a potato into the tube, using rolling pin, ensuring a tight fit all round

  • Light gas hob, and run like fuck

I've only ever seen this monstrosity constructed once, and it managed to fire a reasonably large spud high enough to bounce off the roof in a TV studio, so I'd advise you didn't let it off inside unless you want to knock a hole in the ceiling

Sources include
My memory of an episode of Jeremy Clarksons chatshow broadcast a couple of years ago