Happy New Year!
I've decided to continue my day-logs despite some passive-aggressive protest by certain demons.
The past few days have been immensely cathartic. The dark thoughts that are becoming familiar again have been understood. The things is, I didn't do this alone. I am grateful.
For the past two weeks, I've been talking to this new person in my life, bearing my naked soul to her, sharing the most deepest and intimate thoughts I never would have fathomed. I pushed away all my preconceptions and risked everything - especially mockery. Five hours of chatting through the internet does wonders to the soul. And now, I find myself renewed indefinitely.
An apartment, she says?
(Even though what she owes me is high, I've already figured ways to adapt. I won't worry much. She can't even do road lust gracefully. Karma will get her. But again, I feel immune to this. Onto the real subject.)
It's because, today is a miraculous day! (Even though the time says January 5, 2002, and this particular event happened on the Friday, I will hold true to the time of my declaration.) She said it to me. I said it back. The miraculous part was that it was through the phone, not the Internet.
Her voice and her words, although seemingly calm, wreaked havoc in her stomach and her nerves. I shared the same ailment at that instant. Nervousness throughout and barely having to output the words from my mouth of what I was feeling. Shyness consumed both of us the instant our voices met over the phone. That paralyzed us. It was like we were in high school again.
The words sing calmly in my head as I replay it over and over again. She tells me she does the same and we agree that each of our voices are warm, sexy and daunting. The more I replay it, the more permanent the feelings.
Need I say more about this? I'm pretty sure most of you can figure this out.
What I can divulge is that I will be away in the near future and that this journey will probably be the most important one of my life.
You will be seeing me from time to time, but it probably won't matter much since I know only a fraction of the users here. What I can say at least, is that I thank those who facilitate the means (here) to allow us to communicate almost as free as our flowing thoughts. I'm hoping someone will find inspiration to these logs of mine and perhaps learn a little about human behaviour. Yes, I probably seem a little too textbook in some instances.
So, the journey begins...