I generally avoid entering churches. There are a number of reasons for this. Weird things tend to happen to me when I enter churches and usually these things cause me to re-evaluate my very existence.
Today I was taking a class required by my job, which was being held at a church. When we broke for lunch, I was sitting with three co-workers in a meeting room when the pastor of the church walked in. She was apologizing for having to ask us to move to another room because she had forgotten that another group had been offered the room we were in that afternoon. It was not a big deal, but then everyone I was with walked away and went outside while this pastor spoke to me.
Every minister, priest or pastor I have met over the past decade has always asked me the same question. It has gotten to the point where I went to research whether they are required to ask this question.
"I know you, don't I?"
I'm going crazier every day.
She then proceeded to tell me the story of how she was unhappy in her life and how she ended up somewhere in southern Idaho in a small town that welcomed her with open arms. She explained it as being "drop kicked by God" into the place she belonged. Then she looked at me and asked me if I had ever been directed by "the spirit" to travel to another place in order to find myself.
Sometimes I'm convinced people are fucking with me.
After I told her pieces of my own story, she went on to tell me that when she was in Idaho she had a revelation. She was for the first time in a place she felt was home. Why did she leave? Because she knew she needed to go elsewhere because she was part of a story still being written.
She told me about a book she loved that talked about a wind-up mouse learning how to wind itself. I understood why it meant so much to her and then she had to leave. She didn't ask me to come to her church. She didn't ask me for anything, she just said she was glad to meet me and felt she somehow already knew me.
Then she showed me the sanctuary, which was quite beautiful and then told me that they close it and use a smaller room in the winter because it costs too much to heat. "We close the sanctuary after the first snow and open it again when winter ends."
Then she said, "We'll see each other again."
I doubt she knows what that means to me, but maybe my doubt is still too strong.
Son of a bitch.