It grows on me, when I’m alone.
Anger comes so very rarely; that I think it makes up for the
frequency in its
intensity. It consumes me when it comes; it obliterates all other feelings, all other considerations.
I only want others to hurt.
Sometimes, I come very close to letting myself do just that.
...
I’m very upset with
Jessica right now. Anything I write about the situation will be
unfair, or
hurtful, or
both.
Suffice it to say that she is very adept at
pushing my buttons when she chooses to.
...
I want to be
drunk, to be gone, to obliterate myself in any drink, any drug. I want to get into
fistfights tonight, and
fuck other women, and not give a fuck in the morning. I want to buy a ticket to
Holland, or
Ireland, and just start again, alone.
I want to find heaven in the arms of a chemical god, tonight.