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Probably the saddest thing ever is the story of Susie, the facially disfigured (from the fire that killed her entire family when she was 3), one-legged, blind, orphan girl trying to sell a rusty shopping cart full of Susie's only friends, inbred, earless, albino kittens (most of which are dead from heartworms, unbeknownst to little blind Susie).

The sign on the cart reads, "kitties for sail 5 sents" (with a backwards "k"). Susie informs potential customers, in a slurred voice (having only 2/3 of a tongue), that she is selling the "kitties" to help raise money to save her orphanage from being torn down and replaced by a Wal-Mart. Most of the people she encounters are driven away from the foul odor she emits. The few that do approach her scoff at her selection of "kitties." One young man grabs a handful of the "kitties" and begins throwing them at her. As she runs away from the young man she trips and falls, breaking one of her crutches.

Having only raised 13 cents little Susie decides it is time to limp on back to the orphanage on her one remaining crutch. Suddenly a she hears a vaguely familiar voice call her name.

"Susie?? Is that you? "

"Uncle Fred!!!" she cries, spittle flying everywhere due to her missing lower lip.

"Yes! Its me Susie! I'm going to take you to live in my big nice house with all your cousins! You and your kitties can live with us in happiness. You'll have warm food and a cozy place to sleep every night!"

"Oh, Uncle Fred, I love you so much!"

They continue on as they walk down the sidewalk, lost in conversation. All is well and good until they fail to heed the crossing signal, being caught up in their happiness.

The Wal-Mart semi smashes full force into Uncle Fred and yanks Susie's rusty shopping cart full of "kitties" from her hands. Uncle Fred is propelled skyward and falls, becoming impaled on the iron fence outside Susies' orphanage. The shopping cart and "kitties" are crushed beneath the wheels of the semi, along with Susies' remaining crutch.

Susie crawls on the ground groping for her "kitties" (finding only bloody masses of fur and entrails) while calling out Uncle Fred's name. He never answers. Susie would have cried had her tear ducts worked.