Armory


The human stared at the array of weaponry before him, mouth agape. Blasters of every kind were displayed on walls, on every free surface, and behind the glass at the registration counter.

"What is it?" said X'melborp, frowning.

"I thought the Prosperity was a peaceful vessel," said Greg.

"We are! What are you talking about?"

Greg picked up what looked like an over-sized blaster rifle. "What's this then?"

X'melborp plucked the weapon up and aimed it directly at Greg's face. Before Greg could do more than wince, X'melborp fired. There was a flash of light, but when Greg opened his eyes, he was fine.

"Now your pores are clean," X'melborp said, placing the rifle back on the display.

"And this?" Greg said, lifting a taser-like device. Red electricity sparked at the end.

X'melborp took the device and, to Greg's horror, jabbed it into his shoulder.

"Electro-massage," X'melborp said. He put the gadget back on the tray, his fur mussed where it had touched.

"Hello there!" said the spa attendant, a Langorphian whose green uniform complimented their facial tentacles. "Do I hear some questions regarding our services?"

Greg flushed, embarrassed, but still pointed to the many blaster-like objects hanging on the wall. "Are you telling me that all of this is spa equipment? What about this thing?" He plucked a model from the wall: the sleekest, most deadly looking one there.

"That would be the Relaxatron9K," the attendant said. "Our finest model. Allow me to demonstrate."

Tentacles burst from their back-- though their uniform remained immaculate-- and snapped the Relaxatron from Greg's hand. With a smile, the attendant fired on him, point-blank.

Greg collapsed to the floor in a languid heap.

"Human Greg?" said X'melborp.

Greg giggled. "I feel gooooooooood."

"We'll have the full package," X'melborp said.

"Excellent choice. Collect your friend there and I'll lead you to the Calminatrix."

X'melborp scooped his still-giggling companion up and followed the attendant down the hall.