user since
Tue May 16 2000 at 18:51:35 (23.4 years ago )
last seen
Sun Apr 19 2015 at 01:19:20 (8.5 years ago )
number of write-ups
62 - View androjen's writeups (feed)
level / experience
10 (Polymath) / 5850
C!s spent
mission drive within everything
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
Mythology. Sarcasm. Cake-thieving.
Would you like to buy a monkey, sir? Gently-used?
I used to have a conscience, but I sold it for some Pixy Stix and chalk.
most recent writeup
January 24, 2011
Send private message to androjen

But alas, I have no badger to offer you.
Zombie care and maintenance

Homenoad pic: Is spring here yet? I was told spring would be here today.

Random showing off available here. Andro on Andro, in paint.

Bruce Campbell picture (no, seriously) can still be found here, by the way. (Yes, I really am that deathly pale.)

Andromache01: Poe's something of a role model, as long as you don't count the alcoholism, gambling, and manic depression.

sam512: Look, one way or another, Andromache01 is going to render some horned species extinct with her bloodlust.

doyle: necrophilia
androjen: Someone called?

Evil Catullus: Also, I have a sudden urge to have violent capitalist sex with a superior person on a pile of spanish doubloons while ardently discussing how the poor are parasites.

Dear Satannta.
I have been a good girl this year. Really, I have. The story about setting those orphans on fire for profit was entirely a fabrication of the liberal media. And the part about genetically modifying cows to grow tentacles? Also totally untrue.

In case you don't know me very well, let me tell you some things I like: things with lots of tentacles. Supervillainy. Horror movies. Zombies and/or the undead. Yarn. I really, really like wool. No, really. I think I would marry wool if it were legal in this country. (Acrylic, however, makes me cry.) I also like: cookies, killer robots, giant ground sloths, ...did I mention wool? Or llama, or yak... sorry, back on track-- um, oil paint, H.P. Lovecraft, attractive and intelligent alternative-type girls (difficult to send by mail, at least in one piece), good Indian food, the color green, video games, and corsets.

Things I don't like? Romantic comedies, religious tracts, candied fruit, bad art, and the color pink.

I hope that clarifies things a bit, Santa. Of course, if you're still stuck for ideas, there's always my Amazon wishlist. (Further hint: I already own both the Call of Cthulhu DVD and the t-shirt.)

Love and Tentacles,
The Androjen.

Hey, you.
Yes, you.
I'm damned lonely here in the city of chicken wings. I don't bite. (More like ooze poisonous secretions). And I have a hard time initiating conversation on my own. Drop me a /msg, or, if you're the old-fashioned type, send me a letter to the address listed on my homenode. It'd be a nice change from all the student loan bills, that's for certain. I will do my best, in my little, asocial way, to reciprocate. Promise.

Desperately yours,

Turn-ons include:
The undead
Global thermonuclear war
Cunning use of punctuation, spelling, and grammar

Turn-offs include:

21 22 23 24 Christ, 26 years old.
Hair (Current): Blue.
Hair (Natural): Black.
Eyes: myopic and Blue. Ish. Green.
Height: 5'6".
Current Number of Unnatural Holes in My Head: 12.
Holes Elsewhere: Alas, not any more.
Weight: Slightly less than a small pony.
AIM SN: tetriselemental
Yahoo SN: cthulhulovesme
Livejournal address:
DeviantART site:
Buy me stuff: (If this actually gets clicked on, I will be both surprised and Republican {Edit, Nov 2005: Okay, so I lied about the Republican part.}.) Check it out just to see what I'm drooling over at the moment, not for any expected material gain on my part.

Teh Super Sekrit current address (For use by international super-spies):
Last Updated: 13 Apr 2008

"Although so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death. One, rigor mortis; two, a rotting smell; three, occasional drowsiness."

Is that a tentacle in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Emotional masochist

Movies most recently viewed:
Snakes on a Plane
The Empire Strikes Back
Hot Fuzz
Return of the Jedi

What other noders have to say about me:

IWhoSawTheFace: mental note to self: avoid any pr0n recommended by Andromache01.

sam512: Ritually sacrificing Andromache01 would only make her stronger.

Simulacron3: The evidence is gathering for my theory that Andromache01 is Charles Manson.
Cletus the Foetus: She's way hotter than Charles Manson. And a little taller.

greyblue: Andromache is apparently a static memory address.

TenMinJoe has seen pictures of A01 and suspects she could talk him into anything in person but feels safely shielded by this textual medium

yclept suddenly sees "Andromache" as "Andromaki" and twitches a little herself.

doyle: Me offerios mios tentacalos, andomachismos.

IWhoSawTheFace: One suspects that A01 is about 740 years old due to her multiple reincarnations and possible vampirically-enhanced longevity. One furthermore suspects her of being non-innocent as well.

loquacious: Andromache is cuter than a Japanese schoolgirl, and even more squid-friendly.

etouffee: andro is made from Squids ..and spite.
Swap: And every little wight.

Byzantine haze: Well, as long as I get to be the fucked-up goth chick with the magic.
haze Byz: sorry, Andromache01 has that one nailed.

allseeingeye: Like a Tinkerbell formed of pure malice jammed into our temples.

allseeingeye: Andromache01 is clearly powered by coal, steam, and the blood of men.

Kit: Nej, jag är inte svenska. Men jag kan svenska. Och Andromache01 är en väldigt sexiga tjej.

EXTomar: Andro just has "zombie sex sense". Kind of like Spiderman but with necrophilia.

Laura Elizabeth: Andro is, truly, the most evil amoungst us. All Bow!

golFUR knits an Andromache.
golFUR reconsiders the amount of black yarn required.

Andromache01 has ethics _and_ morals. Also the mange.

TenMinJoe: A01, you don't get to comment on what is and isn't weird, since your baseline is so far removed from everyone else's.

TheDeadGuy: Her misery is wrought of fraud, Miner, do not be fooled by her bleak appeals. Misery is just the champagne she sips to fend off the cold onset of the day.

TheDeadGuy: Yeah, she only dates men who eat the hearts out of living children.

Andromache01 plans on abusing this knowledge shamelessly.
Glowing Fish: Knowledge, can you show me where Andromache01 touched you?

The Obligatory Catbox Quote Section

ascorbic: If sarcasm, irony and humour were in any way ambiguous in a textual medium it could lead to no end of confusion.

Andromache01: prods the Death Borg.
EDB: no prodding from sexpots me need rest much stress in treatments

69lovesongs: No, but what is Elder God pr0n?
Andromache01: Well, little Johnny, when Cthulhu and a Shoggoth love each other very much...

kthejoker: My favorite novelization was The Passion of the Christ, except it had a lot of exposition about some people who weren't even in the movie, and it was a bit preachy, but otherwise, A+ material.

Ouroboros: The sight is dismal. And our affairs from England came too late. The ears are senseless that should give us hearing, to tell him his command is fufilled. That Rosencrantz and Hello Kitty are dead.

sam512: Those of you who just joined us, we're comparing genitalia to dairy products. Welcome to E2! Have you read the FAQ yet?

wordnerd: If anyone needs me, I'll be at the liquor store, learning Spanish.
Andromache01: "Tengo gatos en mis pantalones. Otro tequila mas, por favor."
Ereneta: Queremos ver los gatos ahora.

liveforever: As an Elder God, I resent your non-tentacularity. I already ate my lawyers, so some of my less frightening minions will be calling on you soon.

haze: And there you are with you dick hanging out, the table in flames, in the middle of a pool of acid.
Cletus the Foetus: BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

Andromache01 realizes the reason why so many go mad when attempting to write Squidmas day carols is that nothing rhymes with "R'lyeh."
maxClimb: Andro: I think it rhymes with 'orange'.

rootbeer277: Margarine spreads more easily.
LaggedyAnne: so do hookers, but I don't put them on toast.

Scriblerus suggests that Pint has a small Johnson.
Pint: My dickens milays longer than yours, scribby.

Scriblerus: After burial, if you say the Pope's names five times in front of a mirror, he appears behind you and kills you.

Wiccanpiper: Father, I have impure thoughts toward my fellow men. A lot of my fellow men, in fact.

icicle: we have an IRC channel also, but it's mostly full of embittered drunks. the catbox is only like 50% embittered, but is also usually full of drunks.

mat catastrophe: The downside to the hive mind is the unsightly antennae. And the claws replacing hands.

Andromache01: You have something against fishy demons?
DejaMorgana: Errrr, noooooo, not "against them", per se, just that they are not numbered amongst the sexier hellspawn. I quite like slime and gills, myself, I just wouldn't want to take it to bed.

FeltTips: you've heard of flying the black flag? Take no prisoners? Ninja girls fly the black panties. It just means the same thing.

bewilderbeast hasn't had an erection in years because THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH GODDAMNED SAUERKRAUT.

Excalibre: Always wear a condom when having sex with the dead. Seriously, always. Trust me on that one.

rootbeer277: But now that you mention it, those genetic engineers could test out the technique on guinea pigs, using them for their intended purpose.
TheDeadGuy: Literal guinea pigs, or the societally dispossessed who "volunteer" for medical experiments for $50 and a cookie?
rootbeer277: Either is acceptable, as neither can produce its own vitamin C.

Myrkabah: You know, I should have known when I got my dick caught in my zipper earlier this evening that it was a harbinger of some cataclysmic event, and here it is.
Palpz: anyways, for anyone who claims that the male form is better because breasts are "oddly shaped", I must ask this question. Have you ever seen a penis?

chaotic_poet: Guys are easier to manipulate with a uterus. If I had one, I would be a force to be reckoned with. I would dangle it from a mace and smite my enemies.

Ancientsnow: People, we've talked about noder sex at least three times today. From this data I conclude that we all need to get laid.
BookReader: We're internet people. Of course we all need to get laid.

Evil Catullus: Also, I have a sudden urge to have violent capitalist sex with a superior person on a pile of spanish doubloons while ardently discussing how the poor are parasites.

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