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Tue May 8 2001 at 01:39:57 (23.1 years ago )
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C!s spent
mission drive within everything
To build a bigger boat.
Subversive Tripe and Blonde Waitress Stories
The Heretical Convergent Church of Rancho Nuevo
Fall down seven times, get up eight.
categories maintained
TheDeadGuy's failed final mission, Dead Guy: Resurrection, Tales of Rancho Nuevo, Personal mythology, Dead Guy Mythology Consolidated
most recent writeup
Pathetic weakling husband
Send private message to TheDeadGuy

The book is out on Amazon...


 CONTACT: magick407 at




Everything you see below has not been updated since 1975. Even I don't know what all that shit down there is on about. Proceed with extreme caution.


Make up your mind
Decide to walk with me
Around the lake tonight
By my side

I'm not gonna lie
I'll not be a gentleman
Behind the boathouse I'll show you my dark secret

Don't be afraid
I didn't mean to scare ya
So help me Jesus.

The secret of heaven is
It gives you the ability to enjoy hell.

And you can only become whole by finding ALL the pieces.

There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain
My power, my pleasure, my pain.
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny, yeah
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby.
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.

Deep in the bosom of the gentle night
Is when I search for the light
Pick up my pen and start to write
I struggle and fight dark forces
In the clear moonlight without fear

I can't get no sleep.


Don't you know that I could make
A dream that's barely half-awake come true
I wanted to say -
But anything I could have said
I felt somehow that you already knew

For Veronica
From me and Aimee Mann.

Come a little bit closer
Let me look at you
I gave you the benefit
Of the doubt it's true
But keep in mind my darling
Not every saint is a fool....

Take a turnpike heading west
Turn the people on to beau geste
Cause that’s what you did the best
Boy, play the pipes till they’re old and worn
Sing the words till they fall forlorn
Like the pieces of a jigsaw jet.

Reach out and touch faith.

But something is happening here and you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

When I think about you I touch myself...

I honestly do.

Another dead man once said to me:
"Do you know the difference between us and them? We know what they can only speculate about. And we don't even realize that is what it is. It frustrates the shit out of us watching them running around not having any real idea of what they are doing or why because we know why. It is so frustrating that we usually end up going mad."

"Wouldn't know the difference...
between a real blonde and a fake..."

"Do they look like psychos?
Is that what they look like?
They were vampires.
Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them.
I don't give a fuck how crazy they are."

This quote is fully the responsibility of Myrkabah.

Aware of what will hurt you
you're prepared to remain this way
so sad yet safe with your afflictions
afraid to start a brand new day

We all get the strangest feeling
when we're standing mighty tall
to jump from 17 floors and crash into freefall.

She said,
"Your debutante just knows what you need
But I know what you want."

Every woman
Has a piece of Aphrodite
Copulate to create
A state of sexual light
Kissing her virginity
My affinity
I mingle with the gods
I mingle with divinity.

Give it to me, please
I said to god
It's only fair
Instead, he sent three angels
To move the river
So now it flows by my house.

John 16:13

If you desire to know what sits within the depths of my shallowness, here are the basics:
Give everything you can to everyone you know (The meaning of life)
Rancho Nuevo (My personal theology)
One of Us (When we reach the lowest point we can rise again)
Tina (Some things cannot be explained by the means we are expected to explain them by)
Basics of Personal Mythology (I never heard of Joseph Campbell until years after I began this study)
The art of reinterpretation (When applied to personal mythology allows you to avoid painting yourself into a corner)
Tammy & Christina (What would your angels wear to a semi-formal?)
June 6, 1994 (The day one life ended - a life I now struggle to understand)
The blueprint of the soul (Heavy shit - wear a diaper)
Convergence (It is but a vision, my love)
Anastasia (Last and always least for it is her destiny)

How come Jesus gets industrial disease?

A condemned man always gets the last word.


I am not your salvation.
I never was.
You are your own salvation.
You always have been.

This is how the trinity will complete itself.
It was always the only way.




In an effort to reorganize and make it easier to find specific information, I have at the request of several individuals created an index to my "Journey" series. Certain writeups will appear under more than one heading and other writeups which were not originally part of the series are included as well where they are relative. This is still under construction as I figure out how to make it more useful as an index.

I am also doing rewrites of certain writeups in this series as I seek to avoid needless repetition and so forth, which I am much guilty of at times, and will note here when said rewrites are done.

Index: A journey ended begins again


On Love and Relationships: Parables: Passages: Personal Mythology: Convergent Philosophy: Slices of my life:
On my death experience: On the life I left behind: On the passage to Orlando: On the symbolism of my personal experience: On those I've been lucky enough to know:


What appears below is something I cannot explain. It is part of something I have been "translating" since 1994. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of a dream and write down the words. Sometimes I hear them spoken in my head and am compelled to write them down. If I do not write them down I feel as if I have claws digging into my head and a voice screaming into my ear and neither stops until I do write them down. I've been told to share them. That is all I know.

John 16:13


1. The original messengers came
Bringing a message that was the same
Each told within the limits of the collective realities
Each to be understood within the context they were given in
The message was given in this way
In order to foster Convergence
The coming together of and the uniting of all
Each would see the mirrors in the message
To know therefore that each was right
They were given the message in context to be understood
Each differed according to the histories, laws and background of the people
And once this frame was known and contact became possible with all
The messages would be shared and it would be fulfilled
For the message of Convergence was in all the messages given

2. What happened then tilted this frame away from Convergence towards Chaos
The messages were misinterpreted, corrupted and all but lost
The message of Chaos was seen in corrupted translations
So the messengers would be sent again before Chaos was realized
These messengers were less powerful than those of the past
The frame offered greater temptation and it was easy to avoid the message
People were less open to messengers,
Their education within the collective reality and societal experience
Was ingrained upon them, into their consciousness, so as to avoid mystics and prophets
So the messengers had to learn the new system
They would have to reach the people in other ways
The ways of old were not possible within this world of science and reason
The messengers would seek the arts
Expression of the message was still possible in art
It became a thing of beauty, and so the Convergents became aligned with Beauty
Beauty, and the arts became as sisters, mating at the soul
And thus each Messenger would have an inspiration
Who would give of themselves, in the face of great loss
In any form or substance to drive the messenger on

3. Within the context of this new, nearly universal collective reality
The messengers began to lose their way
Their ability to adhere to the collective reality was a struggle
As the dominance of Chaos kept them from being understood
The messengers would withdraw into isolation
They would lead bands of those they could reach
Misled by temptation, frustration and isolation many became corrupted
They could not give the message in such a way that could be truly understood
The messengers would be given more talent in the arts and the charisma to succeed
But this would lead them into the temptations of Chaos
Fame, fortune and a lifestyle that left them all but isolated from the people
Rising to the status of idols, icons and mere symbols, they lost the way
Those who speak the message are most tempted
For in the balance they must find the way
To win the battle within and purify the message
For to lose is to submit to the corruption that always defiles the message
And in this is the strength of the zealots, the servants of Chaos

4. The ultimate skill is unconditional love that tenders automatic forgiveness
The ultimate reward is unconditional love of all
Thus the temptation is great and they are led astray
To gain this love in a status which is only an illusion
When the image is loved instead of the message, hope is lost
Messages have warned of the power of idols
And yet the messengers were made into idols
In order to defeat them and to corrupt the message
For no messenger is more than but a humble stranger
Who may feel cursed by his separation from the collective
Often alone and isolated on those most intimate levels of being

5. The inspiration and the messenger are often confused
In the way the message is given the roles seem unlike they are
The one often remembered as the messenger is often the inspiration
The one who gives the message to others is the messenger
The one who inspires the message is the inspiration
As such an inspiration whose song is strong in the message
May spawn many messengers to carry it forward
Messengers fail because of temptation or the temperament of the collective reality
Instead of Convergence there is a breakdown into new collectives
Where others are excluded and the message is lost

6. The white, green and red of Rancho Nuevo are demonstration of the variances
The white are the angels, their state of grace is their inspiration
The green are the messengers, those who receive inspiration and are entrusted with it
The red are the protectors of the message, the followers of the word of the message
Those of each variance are led by temptation, temperament and struggles within
Each plays an important role in the balance needed for Convergence
To lose that balance allows Chaos to overwhelm the drive to Convergence
Those who are led astray by Chaos drives towards that which will prevent Convergence
They do not know what they do, for they have faith in their mission
Those who accept a mission rarely know from what quarter it comes
Unless guided by inspiration, they must trust a messenger
A messenger of Chaos may be confused with a messenger of Convergence
A messenger of Convergence may be confused with the false prophets of Chaos
For their message may conflict with what has already become protected

7. The angel wars of Rancho Nuevo are symbolic of the struggle
Each holds to its unyielding purpose, regardless of the others
As such they become zealots, and they will never cease fighting
Each to destroy the other in their own way
The zealots are righteous in the quest to fulfill Chaos
Each will justify the calls to anger and retribution in their own way
They have reasons that are justified and righteous
And once each and every side becomes unwilling to yield
They will have fulfilled Chaos
And the War of the Zealots will never end
For each will seek to incite the other to continue
For the conflict is no longer about the message
And although it masquerades as such
At its heart is the corrupted message of Chaos

8. Everyone is right when the ideal is accepted by all
When another is judged as wrong then neither can be right
What is given by force is not received for what it is
For what is given must be accepted or it means nothing
These concepts corrupted mask themselves in the message of Chaos
And are delivered in the same way as the uncorrupted message
As the mirror reflects in the same way it speaks
And those who do not know the reflection from the message
Are easily led down the path of judgment and retribution
There is no difference between the white, green and red amongst us
When they cease to understand, accept and know the message
And fight against each other to prove the purity of their vision
Against a vision just as pure within its own collective vision

9. You will know the difference between the message and the reflection by one thing
The reflection will endorse the aims of Chaos
The righteousness, the reasons and the anger of the passion
These shall be the signs of Chaos’ reflection of the message
Those who reach out to embrace Convergence amongst all their brother and sisters
They shall be the uncorrupted messengers who speak the truth
Within the rewards of nirvana, heaven and the like
Carry a heart of the law that must be understood before it can be accepted
To give everything you can to everyone you know
To accept that everyone is right when they allow the same
To gain unconditional love, giving all that you are because you know there is plenty
What is needed will always be given in the frames that carry this promise
These three elements will carry you towards the truth and the rewards that are so great
Not for any godly interference, but because all the souls there embrace and become the message
They become the angels, those who inspire the inspirations who in turn inspire the messengers

10. No one needs more than a messenger
No one can give more than inspiration
No one can accept more than a messenger
No one needs to give more than inspiration
A messenger is more easily corrupted
Because the needs inspire temptation
To serve the self, to use power and knowledge
To one’s own benefit, denying the gift that is giving
Those who hoard while others go without lose the message
For they are unable to complete the three steps towards Convergence

11. Even if Chaos takes control of the frame
The message will continue to come
There is no beginning and there is no end
This frame is a battleground unlike any conceived
The wars are fought within and the external is mere reflection
Convergence was always the ultimate goal
For the messenger and inspirations who accept the truth
Will always defer to others of their kind
The nature of the message teaches this
Everyone is right and all are welcome
Sit at the table if you are ready to be served
By those you will gladly serve in return

12. The message may be identified in many teachers
Not one more right than the other
Any that claim to be more right than another
Are thus proven to be corrupt in translation
For the message is complete within its context
When the message contains the three truths
And does not give welcome to Chaos
By this you will know it to be true

13. This kingdom often promised
A paradise of unearthly rewards
Is not a distant place; it is with us always
The corruption seeks to mask its existence
It is seen most clearly through Convergence
The full acceptance and understanding of the second truth
That all are right when all accept the same in others
And through this will be granted the state of heavenly rewards
For it goes no further than the battle within
Humility replaces righteousness
Love and acceptance replace judgment and anger
And none go wanting in this promised frame
For there is plenty and there are no hoarders
There are no thieves, for nothing freely given can be stolen
The hungry will be greeted by those who bear their food

14. The power of the zealots comes from the ease of their temptations
That which offends and angers tempts us to rise against it
To strike against the servants of Chaos is a temptation
And to greet this temptation is to join them in servitude
For none that rise up in anger and retribution can be true
Their own cause becomes righteousness
The mark of the zealot becomes their sign
For with great passion they will seek to vilify or destroy their enemy
Whereas those who understand the message have no enemy
They would sooner give an enemy food, drink and clothing
Than they would strike him down or attack in any fashion
Through love the enemy becomes a friend
And even the continued attacks and humiliations of this enemy
Are greeted with the knowledge that the enemy is only responsible for his own fall
Those who understand the message will help him to his feet
Rather than hold him in the mud to ensure his defeat

15. At the hands of these enemies they fall into temptation
Defeat is caused when one becomes an enemy themselves
Slinging arrows in the cause of righteousness they become the zealot
For the temptation is great to embrace this righteousness
When what you see is of great offense to your perception
The call to rise against it is strong
Rise against the perception and the interpretation
Do not rise against the individual and his allies
For it is the corruption of the message that is the danger
And those corrupted need guidance, not destruction
Be as an example, not as an enemy to those who would stand against you
An enemy cannot exist without an enemy in kind

16. The patterns we follow are the keys to temptation
Just as they are the keys of escape from temptation
What you can do you must do
What you may do is done in accordance with what others may
Seek the temple that is within
For the message is within you
It is not without you
My brothers and sisters before me gave the message
Understand the message and accept it and your translation will be true

17. The first truth is the foundation on which your church may be built.
"Give everything you can to everyone you know,"
Is the nature of the path on which the journey to heaven will begin.
One must not withhold what may be given to those in need
The hoarding of love, just as the hoarding of riches, obscures the path
What can be given must be given or there is no true kingdom
That which exists in corruption is the illusion of temptation
What is given must be received and only what can be received is given
The respect of this is what creates the second truth

18. The second truth is often misunderstood and corrupted
For to understand its meaning requires a change in perception
As seen through the collective perception it is corrupted
Everyone is right within the context of the message
To understand one must accept this in others as well as themselves
The temptations of righteousness are very strong
For one is always most secure in their own interpretations
So much so that it is easy to disregard the validity of others

19. The third truth is within the heart of Convergence
For only those that understand, embrace and live by the first two truths
Can understand its meaning and its power
Unconditional love for all is the state of grace
There is no grace without its embrace
These are not easy truths to comprehend
They are more easily corrupted than understood
As all are welcome at Convergence
They must also welcome each other in the same spirit
For there is no superior God or prophet that makes one better than another
Only the spirit of the message matters
And it is this that ties the Convergents together

20. That which honors righteousness and superiority
That which disregards the three truths
This is the corruption of the message
For when the message is corrupted
It becomes a mirror of what it is
And the reflection becomes what it is not

21. Those who understand the message would not attack or vilify their brethren
For this is contrary to the truth of the message
This is the temptation that remains the greatest
Even in those who understand the message in words but not deeds
Those who oppose the message are as worthy as those that embrace it
They must be cherished and lifted above
For they have fallen into temptation and their needs are great
Without giving to them what you would give to a friend
You have not understood the heart of the message

22. To understand the truth of the message
One must take the words of the messengers
And filter them through the vision of Convergence
That which remains within each version of the message
When what is not the same is removed
The corruption is also removed
And now what remains in this
Is the heart of the message
Blessed are those who bask in the heart of the message
For they will be victorious in the battle within


1. All that exists is both corrupted and pure
One cannot be without the other
The messengers have been corrupted
The translations have been corrupted
For this reason the message has come in many forms
To find the purity of the true message
All the messengers must be considered
All the translations must be considered
What exists in each becomes the true message
What separates them is the corruption
Convergence is the filter through which the message must pass
The translation can never be pure
The messenger can never be pure
If this were not true then nothing would be possible

2. Embrace those who you perceive to be enemies
For these are in fact your friends
It is they who will teach you the path of Convergence
Those who offer comfort justify your corruption
Those who are like you will keep you as you are
Those who are unlike you will teach you to become more
For this reason it is those we despise and mock
These are the ones most needful of our unconditional love

3. You have sought to be justified by all that you do
When instead your eyes could be opened to all that you are
Turn away from those who support and uphold you
Those who share your values and beliefs are not needful of you
You have learned to reject this most basic of truths
It is the corruption of the message that leads to the weakness within
The weakness seeks to be ignorant and think itself strong
Do not muddy yourself with these trappings of the self
For the self is always wrong and the other always right
Accept this and you will know what it is to be free

4. Those who seek paradise and the rewards that they see
Will be denied these things in kind because of their desire
Those who seek to bring paradise and rewards to others
Will find these things returned to them in kind
Those who know will then give them away
Nothing has value when you hold it unto yourself
Those who prepare for themselves and those they call their own
Will fall in the struggle for they are not truly prepared
Give away these things with which you glorify the self
Give away these things you hold onto for tomorrow
Give away all that you have and all that you claim
For tomorrow does not need these things and neither do you

5. Unlock your doors and give money to thieves
For in giving this you do for the thief more than you know
Lower your shield and put down your sword
Give those that would strike you ease in their task
For in doing this you do more than you know
When the thief has nothing he can steal
And the warrior has no reason to continue to fight
The path to the kingdom will soon be revealed

6. There are those who will tell you this is the path of the weak
Yet there is no greater weakness than that which is pride
The corruption has taught you to protect your own
To defend your kingdoms against those you call foes
Your pride and your gluttony has made them as such
You create your own enemies; they do not create themselves
When you stop giving life to these enemies you begin to see
They made you their enemy and you returned in kind
Dispel the conflict and welcome them instead
Let those who would curse you eat at your table
And lock those who embrace you outside the door

7. These things may feel foreign in Chaos’ lands
You have learned to attack and how to defend
These things mean nothing when you know the path
The conflict within you is the true source of pain
When you understand the message you will know the truth
Nothing you have you need to defend
Nothing you have is worthy of holding
Give everything freely and it will be returned in kind
This is the path they lost long ago
This is the path you must seek again

8. Glorify your critics and criticize your friends
Nothing is accomplished by glorifying your friends
Just as nothing is accomplished through conflict with critics
The glorification of those who stand at your side
Is glorification of self, the most pointless of acts
What praise do they deserve for their agreement in kind?
A banquet with friends is praise of the self
An embracing of ideas and beliefs that are shared
A banquet with enemies is love’s mighty path
Come together with those you have something to give
For what is given is stronger if not returned in kind
It is instead returned in ways that are true
Think not of the body or of the mind
Think of the spirit, the energy exchanged
When conflict has nowhere to stand
The kingdom is found

9. Those who can see deserve to be blind
Those who are blind deserve to have sight
You have taken for granted all that you have
You hold onto it dearly and feel it is yours
You have no right to anything you will not freely give
Nothing you have is rightfully yours
It was given to you to give away
Give your body to those who would strike it down
Give your thoughts to those who would mock them in stride
Give your heart to those who would treat it unkind
And then you will know what is rightfully yours

10. Give those things you most value
To those who would burn them and see them destroyed
Know why they would do this to the treasures you hold
The wicked deserve mercy, the kind deserve none
Why would you give to someone who will give in return?
For there is now no gift, just expectation of more
And you have lost the meaning when you follow this path
Just as the wicked only loan and give nothing at all
So they may profit from your worldly needs
This position they take is corruption in deed
Give everything freely to all who have need
Embrace those who steal from you in this way
For they do not know what they do
Those who have much will prey on those who have little
Just as those who are weak will prey on the strong


11. The hoarder who protects his holdings with lock and gate
Is as lost as he who stands outside the gate longing for what is within
Gluttony and jealousy are born of the same corruption
The children of Chaos have chosen the corrupt path
And to follow them into their darkness has no reward
Seek nothing that is not freely given
And what you receive give away once again

12. Ask why you cling tightly to what already has passed
Ask why you hold onto what soon will pass
Is it not the purpose of life’s journey to prepare for the road ahead?
The road behind you is already overgrown and dead
When you walk the path do you not look up ahead?
Or do you stare ceaselessly at the ground by your feet?

13. Why do you have disdain for those who have nothing?
Why do you respect those who have plenty?
Is it not because one has something to give and the other does not?
Is not the greater value in being able to give than in being able to receive?
When you stand in the middle and seek the true path
Know that it is better to give to another than to want for yourself

14. There are those who lose the path by seeking sin in others
They will point out the perceived failings and weaknesses of others
In the context of their perception of sin they have done far worse
For their judgment and righteousness embraces the two greatest sins of all
Only those who see themselves fit to judge others would be judged
Only those who claim righteousness will be held accountable
For their failings have opened the gates for Chaos
Any who would judge another or perceive themselves as righteous
Bear responsibility for the corruption of the message
They are the agents of Chaos

15. How can a frame immersed in Chaos find Convergence
One without the other does not exist
Yet one can overcome the other
Chaos can envelope Convergence and keep it ever distant
Convergence can converge with Chaos and join with it
For Convergence is about all things coming together
It is about acceptance of the other as right and the self as wrong
Within Convergence even Chaos will converge
Within Chaos even Convergence will be corrupted

16. Completeness of light dispels all darkness;
Completeness of darkness dispels all light
But without the other they are unknown
They mean nothing without the context the other shows
Know this to be the meaning of your suffering
For without it you would not understand joy

17. That which wisdom speaks is often ignored
Heard but not listened to finds its corruption
They have heard many messengers speak of this truth
Leading them to an image, a face of the master
These faces they seek are one and the same
A mask upon that which cannot be known
The source of all energy is truly immune
An unknowable state keeps it completely pure
It seeks nothing from those who travel in its streams
Your worship and sacrifices mean nothing to it
The message will show you there is only one way
To master the flow of the energy that is
For this energy grows and changes through each of your souls
The direction it travels is all you decide

18. Think of yourself as a conduit and no more
Through you energy passes it is always with you
This energy is what so many seek to define
It is here and there and everywhere in between
In the greatest of palaces and under the smallest of stones
You pass the energy on from one to another
If you cause the energy to serve your own vanity and desire
It is here that it dies and suffers the break
Would you cut the wire from the light at your side?
If you wish to see truth then you must aid in the flow
You will know the three truths as more than just words
When you are able to listen you will embrace and understand
Take no solace in pride or in vanity’s robes
For the honors you seek for yourself are the ones that will cause you to fall

19. Wound your friends and heal your enemies
For the wounds are what teaches and the healing is what learns
A man who bathes in the same clear stream of water
Who stays clear of other bodies of water because he does not know what they contain
Learns nothing from the water and in turn has nothing to teach

20. The energy would not create anything without purpose,
So why do you feel you have a right to judge this purpose?
This is the path of corruption into Chaos
You have been warned about judgment time and again
So why do you persist in believing this right?
Accept what exists for all bathe in the energy
If you pick up a spear to thrust it in judgment
Turn the spear on yourself, for this is why it is there
The true path is lost once one is corrupted by judgment
And he who is judged will be rewarded ten times
And he who judges will take wounds from his spear

21. The three sacred laws will guide you to truth
Give all that you can to all that you know,
Hold nothing back for yourself or your kin.
Know that your brother is right in himself,
For you are not right until you accept him as twin.
And once you have followed and basked in these things
The third sacred covenant at last will be reached
Convergence will come; it will be all that you seek
Together none higher and none lower than thee
The left is the right and below is above
This knowledge I give is all you will need
One day you will see it, this much I do know
The road few have traveled at last will take all
For it is not attained until all understand
This is your mission, the message you bring
To you all my blessings, and your blessings on me
We are unto each other all things that we see
Mother and father, brother and sister, son and daughter
Teacher and student, enemy and friend
Embrace what is given and find it again