Today I will give you the first of what I expect will not be what you expect when you are expecting (internet kiddie slang for motion picture shown at the local cinema). If you have not been to the cinema due to being banned for having nose piercings or non-military related tattoos, please feel free to attend a screening of a motion picture which tickles your fancy at your local cinema (check the newspaper to see what is playing).
Today I, friend Behr, will give you the first of what I expect will be many tips on how you can develop effective strategies to combat the threat of climate change.
Tip O' Dee Day
Do not urinate in streams. When you urinate, you put a heated liquid into a cool flowing body of water. A cool flowing body of water can be a river, a stream, or motion in the ocean. Watch any ole ocean any ole time and you will notice "motion in the ocean" which is a biological term.
When you put a heated liquid into a cool flowing body of water you will not get what you were expecting when you were expecting something else. You will heat the cool body of water and this is a major contributor to global warming as you can imagine. You just have to think about five million ding-a-lings standing there, fly unzipped, sometimes looking around nervously, sometime not giving a shit (no pun intended), sometimes laughing, sometimes thinking about a baseball game you went to as a child. Many things can be going on "at the same time" as urination in cool flowing bodies of water.
Do not urinate directly into the toilet or sink. Urinate into a wide mouthed plastic bottle such as offered with the commercial product "Gatorade" and then refrigerate in your icebox and then flush it down. This way a heated liquid (urine) does not enter into the cool flowing body of water (toilet tank).
It is my hope that you will use my tips to help me and my team combat climate change. We must stop this or we will lose some coastal states to premature erosion, which is an issue. When you "introduce" a warm liquid into a cool flowing body of water it circulates and travels all around the world, That casual piss you took in a stream could be melting a valuable glacier which is keeping us from becoming that Tan Tooting planet from the first movie about "Star Wars" that was shown before you were born so you probably don't understand the cultural reference. I take no offense. Sometimes youth is a detractor.......
My friends.