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I am concerned. At last weekend's Nodermeet, I saw a lot of noders were being very inhibited. It was discouraging.

Hi, I'm Dr. Peter Swilling.

Most of what happens at Nodermeets makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. There is the adultery. There is the geek talk. There are the slap fights. There are the "neener-neener" squabbles. It is too much to take sometimes, but the worst are the inhibited noders over in the corners of rooms making nebbish noises like "meep meep" and "wee wee" and "hee hee tee hee" and the like. Absolutely sick to my stomach. A couple of times I just went over and kicked a few of them in the gut while wearing heavy boots. One died from internal injuries. Serves him right. Being a nebbish. God.

Of course, this doesn't resolve the problem. The only way to solve the problem is to force noders out of their shells at Nodermeets by putting them through a series of life-threatening contests and tests. We need to take them right to the edge and then fail to pull them back again. It is the only way.

I think a lot of them could be forced into a relatively small room. The room could then be locked and then everyone would leave. And no one would ever come for them. Let them starve to death in there like the noders who founded Everything, Kansas, whose bones now lie bleached in the hot Kansas sun. It is beautiful to see the bleached bones of someone who died through the cruelty of others. So beautiful. It really is.

Watched this one noder at this past weekend's Nodermeet try to drink a beer through his nose. That's some shameful shit, y'all. It is. It really is.

Will something finally be done about this adultery before this upcoming weekend's Nodermeet, Chicken and a Fiasco: A San Quentin Nodermeet? I certainly hope so. A lot of people are bringing their mothers and sisters to this one. There is going to be so much illicit sex going on unless something is done. Something needs to be done to increase policing at these Nodermeets. They are out of control.

A lot of noders are notoriously weak physically. Very thin, boney, lacking in any muscular development, the average noder is an embarrassment to his or her family. They are. They seriously are. That means that if you come to a Nodermeet short on cash, you can easily bully many noders on the lower floors of the Nodermeet and take cash and stuff from them. I grabbed this one gutless wonder at a Nodermeet a couple weeks ago and shoved his head hard into a marble table. Smashed all his teeth out. He was physically weak and made a lot of "meep meep" noises, i.e. an average noder. I ended him with a single shot to the back of the skull the next night. He cheated playing cards against me.

Medically yours,

Dr. Peter Swilling,

Site MD