Lately I developed a
sick habit of
pretending to be the person people are looking for when they dialed the
wrong number.
I've discovered it's a lot of fun. You get to anonymously talk with strangers, fooling them without getting caught.
To show you some examples, I've written down some sessions I had.
phone rings...
Me: "Good evening"
She: "Hello, is Jack at home?"
Me: "It's me"
She: "Oh, I didn't recognize your voice. Are you OK?"
Me: "I am a bit sick."
She: "You seemed alright when you left work today"
Me: "I didn't want to show it, you know, we are
kinda busy these days."
She: "Right. I want to inform you that they have pressed charge against the shop lifters you have caught last week"
Me: "Really? That's fantastic. Say, what do you like the most about me?"
She: "Huh? Hmmm... I am quite suprised with this question. I wanted to talk with you about something... well..."
Me: "Yeah?"
She: "Would you like to go out sometimes?"
Me: "Sure"
She: "Oh! Terrific"
Me: "But not with you."
10 seconds of silence...
She: "Ah... that's cruel. Why?"
Me: "See, I am not Jack."
She: "You... what?!"
Me: "I'm Dan, you have dialed the wrong number, I played a trick on you."
She: "You...YOU BASTARD!!!"
hangs up...
phone rings...
Me: "Hello"
He: "Hello, can I get John please?"
Me: "That's me."
He: "Hi, John, I'm calling from the bank.
I want to tell you about our new services-"
Me: "I want them all"
He: "Alright, thank-... REALLY??"
Me: "Yes. What do you have to offer?"
(the guy talks about 20 minutes, boring my ass off)
Me: "OK. I am not interested."
He: "But, but.. you've said..."
Me: "I am not John."
(10 seconds of silence)
He: "What is this?!"
Me: "Wrong number."
He: "You have to be joking!!!"
Me: "Joke indeed. This was so fun, I am the nightmare of all wrong number dialers."
He: "I can't believe this! I... I... GO TO HELL!"
hangs up...
It gets even more amusing if someone by mistake advertises his new phone number with an error. Suddenly you got a swarm of these dialers, and each one you can separately try to fool using a different style.