After a yummy dinner, the Byteme family relaxes in the living room for some TV. The new TV Guide has a bunch of new letters beside each show, and this results in some confusion for the average American family.


Mom: "Oh, look. Here's a made-for-TV movie about some family problems. The Bobbitt Shearing. That sounds nice."

Dad: "Let me see, hon. Oh, wait, there's an R on there."

Jr.: "That just means it's a rerun."

Sis: "No, it doesn't, you doofus! It means that it's restricted to grown ups. You'll have to go watch the Cartoon Network on your own little TV while we watch the Bobbit movie. Nyaa, nyaa."

Handicapped Baby: "Timmmmoy!"

Dad: "And there's an A and an N on here, too. Wonder what that means?"

Jr.: "That means she's gonna take up the tailpipe, dad. And the N means there's a bunch of Negroes doing the piping. C'mon; let me watch. PLEASE???"

Sis: "I know what the V is fixing to stand for in your case, buddy boy."

Dad jerks Jr. up by the collar and slams him face first into the credenza.

Mom: "Now, Burtram. Please don't break any bones. Oh, and I just read that the N is for someone being undressed. And the A is for just us grown ups. So, sis, I'm afraid you'll have to join Jr. up in the other room while your dad and I see what all this is about. Bring down that jar of lubricant before you settle in, OK?"

Baby: "Timmmmy!"

Jr.: "Get the fuckin' grease yourself, you four-eyed bitch!"

Sis: "L L L!!!"

Dad grabs Jr. by the ankles, swinging him around the room prior to releasing him, head first, out the picture window onto the nicely manicured lawn.

Mom: "He didn't fall in the flower bed did he? You know how hard I've worked on those pansies."

Dad: "No, hon. Your pansies are fine. And Jr. seems to be in *** shape."

Sis (laughing): "Oh, that would be good. We sure don't want another one around here in * shape, do we?" (She looks sideways at Baby.)

Baby: "Tim...Timm...Timmmmoouy?!?"

Mom: "**** joke, Sis. Your humor is always so obviously influenced by PG."