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Family Matters
I contacted some of my estranged family last night to tell them that I was engaged to a gorgeous, wonderful girl. See, dear reader, my Mother has broken off pretty much all contact with her sisters and mother over the past couple of years. Anyway, I wanted my aunts, two of whom I am very fond of, to know about my happy news. I phoned the second youngest, Rosemary, on Sunday and she returned the call last night after sending Dana and I an engagement card.
Yes, Where are our engagement cards, dammit? You'll all have to hurry to catch the last post before Christmas; my address is on my homenode :-)
Rosemary asked me to phone my Grandmother (maternal) and tell her my news. I did so, and she was thrilled (as I had hoped) and asked me the usual questions about Dana: How old, Appearance, location, etc, etc. I took this opportunity to ask her about the circumstances surrounding my birth and how my Mother and Father got together. I had heard a very bitter version of this story from my Mum, so I wanted to get another side of events. It turns out that my Mum completely glossed over the truth (read, lied) and made my conception out to be some kind of brief encounter when she was 15. My Grandmother's version is somewhat different: my Mum was dating my Dad when she was 13 (He was 20!) and was very resentful that my Grandmother had asked her to look after her younger sister while my gran was out working. At 15, allegedly, my Mum left disappeared for 3 weeks to live with my Father; after the police were involved (sex with a 15 year old girl being illegal, duh) my Mum returned home still very much in love with my Father. This was about 9 months before I was born. As time passed she realised she was pregnant and a little after her 16th birthday, I was born.
So, my Grandmother's version of events. I probably won't confront my Mother about this just yet; she is quite ill and I really don't want to stress her out. How do I feel about being lied to? Well, rather neutral; I understand the reasons why she would lie to me, my mother is still full of hatred for my father. (they split up when I was eight, only after four years of marriage) However, this encourages me to look for my Father, to try and find out his version of events. But I know that if my Mum ever found out I had spoken to him, she would never forgive me, and may never speak to me again.
I also phoned Pauline, my favourite aunt (I wrote a node about her once: My Aunt) She was thrilled, both to hear me call, and to hear my news (which she had already heard on the sister grapevine) She asked whether or not I would be able to take Dana up to meet her; I said maybe, and we left it at that. I'm a bit worried for Dana; she will be bombarded with my friends and family in a strange country, she will have to cope with the different scenery and weather and she will have to cope with me! :-)
Hmm, what else is happening? I have a resume/CV now, so I will have something to give to the IBM HR people at the job fair tonight. I'm a bemused to see all the things I have done at Sony over the past four years written down on paper. Mark looked it over, and was impressed by my XML/XSL work on documenting IDL files. Isn't it nice to be have genuine compliments about something you've done (and not been recognised for) in the past?
maybe more later, peeps