Me: "I've never felt so much like a parent."
Missus: "I know what you mean. One kid throwing up and the other refusing to eat his dinner."
Me:
"Actually, I meant cursing and squinting at the directions for this
"some assembly required" toy so that it's ready for Christmas."
After
last year's eBay shipping fiasco, I vowed not to shop via eBay for Christmas
this year. But when the Boy Wonder asked for a Playmobil item that is
no longer manufactured, it was eBay or disappointment. This year, not only did I get a
deal on the price, but the package came promptly and securely shipped.
Thank goodness I decided to open it last night to make sure all the pieces were there.
The
last Playmobil item we bought him, when he was two, required attaching
a plastic barn to a plastic base. Open the box, snap, done You're ready to play.
This
Playmobil set, for older kids (4 and up), looks simple enough in the
picture. And then I open the box to find two dozen sealed plastic bags
containing dozens of connectors, doodads, and geegaws required to make
the toy operational. The instructions themselves have an inventory
key... and they note that I should have 160 little red doodads for
assembly. (This toy does not snap together until such time as you
attach snaps to every piece that will be connected to another).
So
there I was, for TWO AND HALF HOURS, sitting on the floor, snapping
little pieces of plastic together to pre-assemble as much as I could
and still fit it in the box... and taking pity on all the parents over
the years (including mine) that stayed up all night Christmas eve
putting together bikes and racetracks and dollhouses and train sets.
It
was only after the first hour of intense concentration that I realized
the spot in which I had chosen to sit happened to be the very spot in
which my little one had thrown up. (The baking soda had removed the
offending odor, but suddenly I realized my pants were both damp and
caked with baking soda).
Ho ho ho.