YOU ARE DISCORDIAN
WHETHER YOU WANT TO
BE OR NOT!

Not wishing to exclude anyone from
the Discordian movement for such a technicality
as not being a Discordian, it is hereby
declared that all who read this are
officially inducted into the Discordian movement
- and the cabal of your own choosing -
as one of the apostles of Eris with all rights whatsoever.

If, by some strange brain malfunction,
you should decide that this is not what you wish,
then simply ignore this notice as you would
all other possibly life-changing notices.
Do note that you will still be considered
a Discordian, regardless of what you think,
or if, in fact, you think at all.

From this moment forward
you will be treated as a member of
The Discordian Society by other members.
Don't worry.
We know our own.
Only a cabbage disguised as a human being
would not understand.

Hail Eris. So be it. All Hail Discordia!

Transfnordian House Of Erisian Apostles
a most radical occult-and-such branch of the
Purple Monkey Mafia/Cabal
as printed in A Pocket Full of Chaos
brought to you by
Jonesboro’s House of Eris’ Science and Fnord Committee