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Our mutual friend Matthew had a friend named Eric. Having just broken up with my boyfriend, I was looking to rebound, and Eric seemed to be just the ticket. He was a vegetarian chef, liked Star Wars, had his tongue pierced twice, and was generally sort of aloof, which made him attractive. In reality, he was sort of dumpy, but that was not apparent at the time.

Whenever Eric was around, I made moony eyes at him, and fell all over myself like a boneless chicken. I was utterly enchanted, and desperate. It was terribly obvious. Matthew remarked to me, trying to give advice, "Desperation is the garlic of romance." I don't know whether the quote was his, but the words rang true. Eric wanted nothing to do with me, but I was smitten.

After a month or so of fruitless chasing, and lamenting my inability to wrangle this man to Lee, I began to calm down about the whole thing. During this calming period, Lee invited me out for a walk. We put on our sweats, and walked about three miles through Southgate, chatting idly about the spring weather and our jobs, and other such crap. We got back to my apartment, and she said she had something to tell me, and she didn't want me to be upset.

"Before you hear it from someone else," she began, "I was going to sleep with Eric, but I want you to know that I didn't, and he's not worth it."

I am floored, for the second time. She explained that she had been hanging out with Eric and Matthew, and later that week while drunk, she called Eric. The conversation got to sex, and she invited him over. They were naked and in bed, and about to do it, when Lee began to change her mind. She told me she changed her mind a few times, leading him toward and away from her sex, but in the end, had not done it. This was not really a consolation to me. Not really caring anymore (and not wanting to deal with this), I blurted out some trite version of "bros before hoes" and told her that I didn't care, that her friendship was worth more than his fat ass.

In reality, I cared a lot, and it hurt terribly to know that she had betrayed me, and that it was so easy for her. I was looking for more, but she could have had the minimum with no effort.

Lee Stories