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OK Gruner-
Am super cranky girl today. Did not get enough caffeine. May have to resort to Pepsi which will destroy my skin. Have already tried coffee. Is killing my stomach! Do not like new advocate downtown, Audrey. Every time I tell her to do something in regard to one of our clients, she says, “I’m going to need authorization from Jeff to do that.” Idiot. I have told her a million times he is of no use to her. She will get nothing done if she involves him. She will not listen. No one else bothers with authorization from Jeff. She is always trying to put me in my place. Will do her no favors in future. She will be sorry. Will turn over most difficult aspects of client relations to her as punishment. She will feel my wrath!!!!! Rhonda is also pissing me off. She acts so put out that there are computer-generated errors in monthly report. Am tired of her whining that she has no time to correct them herself. Do not care. Do not want to hear her whining. Am tired of people trying to subordinate me for no apparent reason. Probably because I am still young and spry, and they’re all bitches. Where is my Prozac Goldman???
Over and Out

Sorry you are cranky. May I suggest the Feces Game? I know you claim not to like bodily function humor, but this is a good one. Just substitute “feces” for any noun in the title or lyrics of a song. Sounds simple but you are in for a great deal of comedy.
Am real sorry. You are looking into a prescription for Prozac and all I have to offer you is the Feces Game.
Am trying my best to cheer up Tolentino. The magazine is crushing his sweet and gentle spirit. He no longer moves from computer at all even for food, drink or bathroom. And when he speaks he’s incoherent. And when he says something incoherent he tries to undo it with a “ctrl-Z” movement of his left hand. A magazine is truly a bitch goddess.
Also, your colleagues suck.
Over and out

Pepsi is doing the trick. Am becoming manic. Goldman will email with numbers of psychiatrists within day or so. Clearly it is priority with him. To answer your question of yesterday - No, I do not think you have been subjected to quasi-vegetable Wilson. If so, cannot remember it. You have the rare ability to instantly snap me out of quasi-vegetative state. Goldman has the ability to snap me out only 70% of the time.
Called Tolentino this morning to cheer him. He did not sound quasi-vegetative, but responded with a hearty “WILSON!” Hope that is a good sign. Inquired as to his liquid intake thus far, and he did say he had had a glass of grapefruit juice. I told him to keep up liquid intake and to remember to urinate. He assured me he would.
Will write you with details of religious cult when I can come up with them. As for Goldman, he is sad I am considering moving to SF. I am trying to persuade him to move as well. He does think SF would be better social environment for him. He wants to visit. I was thinking, since Tammy and Curt are not coming for the party next month, what about Goldman? If I am staying at Colombo’s, he could stay on the couch. Or, if I stay with you, I could sleep on the floor and he could have the couch. Or, he doesn’t need to come at all. Your call. Do you think it impertinent of me to suggest such a thing? If so, please let me know. If you think bringing Goldman will interfere with trying to hang out with you and Tolentino and Colombo, let me know. Do not want you to have to entertain him, but he is easy and funny. Just an idea. If you think plan is OK, but needs further work, I can discuss issues with him. Hope you get this before you go home.
Great Balls of Feces