curled up in a ball of inadequacy, staring off 
into a universe that does nothing but make me 
so terribly sad sometimes. 
             
          i didn't mean to hurt anyone.

i don't mean to disappoint everyone, it just happens.

    yes i want to do something with my life,
         i just don't know what that something is.. yet.

give me time?

            "no matter where you are, 
                         i can still hear you
             when you drown.."    and i am..

drowning. spluttering. arms no longer flailing because

                    i am weak.

stop watching me like that, i could swear..

         you think your cruelty is so beautiful
                                   so perfect
                                   so necessary.
stop it.

     don't hold my head under water, 
        i'll sink on my own.  

             why didn't you teach me how to swim?     i'm learning.
         
                               don't flaunt your fleet
                                when i can barely keep
                                my punctured life boat
                                afloat in the troubled
                                waters off the coast of
                                my dreamland, nightmares
that seem more like reality
                             every time i..

close your eyes. the storm, it came up strong.. i think i could.. i love you.
     
         my world melts when it meets with yours and
         i am left in blissful alternate reality that
         might just be my only truth. 
                   or the only one that keeps me here.   
                           
             ..