November 10, 2000 (idea)

Today seems to so far have been a very unexciting day. For a little while, I had some work to do, which I finished.

I finally got an appointment set up with my Gym to go through orientation. Trish is suggesting that I just go and get on a treadmill. I'm not sure... I don't really want to go and start working out without getting the gist of the situation. If I had been to a Gym before, sure I would probably go ahead and just start working out before the orientation, but since I haven't I don't know if I may break some sort of obvious protocol that would have been mentioned to me in the orientation.

Or maybe I'm just lazy.

We (co-workers and I) ate lunch at the nearby mall today... I had a plain salad, no dressing. I actually don't like salad dressing. I always get suprised reactions when I say I don't want any, and people think I'm just on some sort of hardcore diet, but I really like the taste of salad without the dressing. Is that so bad? Anyway, I saw that they had a chicken salad, so I ordered that, but I came to find out that it was a garden salad with a scoop of deli meat and mayonaisse goop thrown on top. I thought I would get like slices of chicken breast or something, like the salads at Wendys. So I just scooped the crap off and ate the rest.

I was really bored, so I spent about an hour making a writeup showing what the West Palm Beach ballot looked like, in ASCII Art at butterfly ballot.

I feel kind of tired today myself. I got plenty of sleep, but I have no idea what I'm going to do with my free time this weekend, or even tonight. I may go watch Charlie's Angels, but I really don't feel like dealing with the Friday night crowds. I have to work on Sunday, so I feel like I need to maximize my time tonight and Saturday, but I really have nothing to do.

I wish I had more friends, at least I could call them up and ask them what they're doing and maybe tag along. One of my computer geek friends is usually around to talk to, but he tends to always be depressed, and I'm feeling kind of depressed myself right now, so I probably shouldn't call him up, or I'll just feel worse.

I've got to stop messing with my scars. I have an obsessive-compulsive disorder in which I am annoyed by anything on my skin, even including scar tissue. I always seem to want to scratch at it; often I will go at it until I get down to the lower skin layers and it starts to hurt. I've got one scar on my left arm that I started on like 5 years ago, one small scar on the right side of my face, just below my cheek that I always mess with (usually when I have my elbow propped up on a desk or table), and some soft tissue in the middle inside of my upper lip that I tend to sort of bite and pick on when I'm thinking. They aren't really gross-looking or anything, but I can't stop messing with them unconsciously. I've been scratching at them occasionally even while writing this. ARGH! STOP IT!

Maybe I should see someone about this, but who? A dermatologist or a psychologist? Probably both. I really am concerned about knocking off this stupid habit, but I just can't do it on my own. I think the longest I've gone without messing with any of them is almost a week, but then I just started doing it again without even thinking about it. Maybe it's some sort of method of forcing my brain to release endorphines, perhaps because I could be normally lacking enough of the neurotransmitters. This may also explain my occasional lapses of depression. But that may also just be my lousy social life.

The CPU fan on a computer in our computer room has been acting up, so the computer started playing classical music. It seems to be running fine though, and the computer room is usually 68 degrees, so I just left the case open and closed the door. The hardware people were supposed to do something about it, but they seem to have forgotten. I'm just a software developer, so it's not really my problem, but I don't want the machine to be down all weekend, since it's the one that pages us when another machine goes down. Sort of a paradox there. Bah.

Well, I still have half an hour to go at work, but I want to pick up some chinese food before the restaurant closes, so I'm going to go now.

So my depressed friend called me anyway. I think I cheered him up a little, and I kind of feel better myself.

I'm still thinking about asking Kawana out for the Christmas party. I was thinking about this while I was headed over to pick up dinner and got off at the wrong exit. I've never been so obsessive about anyone or anything before to make such an absent-minded mistake. It could be dangerous to think about her while I'm driving! :)

I really don't know why people downvote daylogs. Please /msg me what I'm doing wrong.

Anyway.. it's late (early).. I've spent enough time browsing pictures of beautiful asian ladies. I'm going to bed.