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I’m growing beyond this, I want out. Blake and Dan are not helping. Called Pete to see if he’s working tomorrow. Tomorrow I am doing only things that will make me happy. But he’s not working. I am skipping class, don’t feel like dealing with the bullshit, why do I always crash? Called Betsey and told her I’d been meaning to come update her on everything happening since freshman year. Probably I could benefit from a session of caring-and-sharing. Dan is watching me from the couch, though I can’t prove it. It’s homey here. I brought granola bars and candy canes. Why do I always want to call Nikki G. “Ramona?” I told Pete I’m having a spiritual crisis. He said “uh-oh.” Yes. Not fine. Edebroux throws my words back at me. The speed of the pen compared to the speed of the mind, ridiculous.