Everything Day Logs
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Time: Mon, 13 Nov 2000 00:20:58 GMT
Everything server: Apache/1.3.9 (Unix) Debian/GNU mod_ssl/2.4.10 OpenSSL/0.9.4 mod_perl/1.21_03-dev
Number of nodes: 749370 (957 new since November 12, 2000)
Number of users: 20121 (-58 new since November 12, 2000)
Number of links: 2585878 (11530 new since November 12, 2000)

Node to user ratio: 37.243 nodes per user
Link to node ratio: 3.451 links per node
Link to user ratio: 128.516 links per user

New Nodes: [Flame and the Flower] [The World Began In Eden And Ended in Los Angeles] [speak for yourself] [Everything Day Log noders] [Wow, you can link to scripts that do nothing in Unix Netscape! You're a hacker!] [A Rose in Winter] [fry up] [The most important sense] [let me display to you my mastery of the principles of bastardry] [Caff] [Albuquerque Sunset] [The Scorpion Departs but Never Returns] [Glow Worm] [Sea Lullaby] [Books I reread at every new stage in my life]

Users Online (44): [Tem42] [wharfinger] [nine9] [dann] [JeffMagnus] [Uberfetus] [tftv256] [ToasterLeavings] [kaytay] [achan] [m_turner] [jeremy f] [narzos] [ifeeldizzy] [Dyslexic] [cethiesus] [DJuxtaposition] [Kung] [yerricde] [AntonZ] [Wormer] [Metacognizant] [FelonyMPulse] [Blue_Bellied_Lizard] [Gethsemane] [madvid] [ZaphodBeeblebrox] [Embers] [Smilin Zack] [CthulhuFhtagn] [spazm] [Ribald] [HairBear] [Gally] [anomaly] [VoodooBïrd] [fatboyrafe] [pmather] [The Dark One] [vagabond] [hugorune] [coconut monkey] [ainsje2] [100101110]

JeffMagnus node count: 4042 (1 new since November 12, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience: 9715 (-1 more since November 12, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience to node ratio: 2.404 XP per node
JeffMagnus nodeshare: 0.540%
JeffMagnus node of the day: http://slashdot.msn.com/

Today I decided to write a node about the people writing, reading, voting and browsing here. This node got the name Everything Day Log noders. I slept a lot again today, and I hope I've slept enough now for a whole week, being far too optimistic ofcourse.

It was raining all day, so when I went out to eat, I got pretty wet. But now I'm dry again, noding behind my computer. I'm about to go to sleep once again. Tomorrow will be another day. I wonder why the button on the right is now submit and not sumbit.

Happy Birthday, Everything2 !!!

This morning, or actually, according to E2's Server time, yesterday, something wonderful happened to me: I wrote a node people liked.

It's an amazing feeling, my node not only has been C!'d, but it has a reputation of 11. When I checked the status of the node after I got up I had a warm, fuzzy sensation that made me wanna get out and node every blinkin' thing i could think of.

I guess that's sorta ironic since the node I'm talking about is called: All I want is to be able to vote on other nodes. It was pretty much a rebuttle to all the li'l Uncle Sam Want's You (to node)! nodes out there. Don't get me wrong, it's all good advice, it's just not for me.

Or at least, it wasn't. Who knows? I might just get addicted now.

Today is also an important anniversary in the world of Everything2... That's right. One year ago today, November 13, 1999, was the day that I created my first node: redwoods. Looking back at it, it doesn't seem at all like something I'd write. I mean, I never use the term "big-arse" anymore, it just seems too childish.

Oh well...
"Be Childish, Never Be Immature" ~ me

Oh yeah, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems a year ago today the creation of Everything2 began. Who'da thunkit?

Happy Birthday Everything2!!!

Today was spent working, but it wasn’t so bad.

I had gone to bed at some insane hour yesterday, and ended up getting thirteen hours of sleep after waking up at nine this morning. Ate some pancakes, filled the eleven holes in my ears with bits of metal, swallowed six pills at once, and ran out the door to work after filling my purse with feminine necessities (I woke up this morning with an unwelcome early visitor).

While driving to Pfaltzgraff this morning, I saw an obese woman standing at the corner of Lakewood and 168th, right in front of Lakewood Elementary School, wearing nothing besides a black leather coat and dirty Tweety Bird slippers. That was probably the last thing I would have expected to see in Holland.

Work went quickly. Nothing extraordinary happened. There was one couple who came in and spent well over $600 on the Naturewood pattern of dishes; ten minutes after they left, the couple returned and spent another $100 or so on flatware.

Closing was a chore as always. The deposit was miscounted several times, and nothing added up to what it was supposed to. We got out a half hour late because a five dollar bill had been misplaced. Right.

Aaron called when I got home. I told him I had to do homework, and the entire conversation was spent trying to rationalize why it was necessary for me to go. Every time I tried to saw “I love you, talk to you later, goodbye,” something would come up. He had to tell me about band practice; I forgot to mention something of no consequence; the winner for Iron Chef was about to be announced and we needed moral support. Just the usual stuff. I looked at the timer on the phone when we finally hung up, and it said 32’ exactly. How could we spend thirty two minutes saying goodbye?

I would also like to wish E2 a happy birthday. I feel so old . . .

I'm tired.

This in itself is not news, and taken in context is to be expected. But to me, at this moment, it is overwhelmingly important, top of my list.


What do I expect? The baby woke up at 6:30, I got up because after all, that's why I'm at my sister's house: to help with the kids. I stayed up, because everyone else was up and I couldn't get no peace.

I've been thinking too much lately, too many issues to focus on so instead I scan them all repeatedly, tiredly running through the outline. I need to stop. I need to get some rest, take off a week of work and focus on me. Short of the week's leave, I should unplug all the phones and tell my family I AM NOT AVAILABLE.

Aight. I think that's what I'll do.

I'm tired.

And with this node, I pronounce thee level 6.

had an excellent evening of drinking and debauchery last night; got to spend time with the new smooching partner, which was fun. we ended up going back to her place for....



MARIO PARTY and conversation.

what a fun girl.

however, spent the day at work barely getting over the drinking. eating only a handful of dry cereal didn't help the post-drunken body, but some wendy's fixed me up good. plus prescription migraine drugs are sure good at getting rid of those pesky hangover headaches :)

sign the lease on my new apartment tomorrow.... woohoo! it's nice to have things out of the way. all i have to do now is accept the job at the benevolent corporation and I won't have to worry about anything but school for the rest of the year. very nice.

and now i'm listening to yo la tengo and finishing up some data structures. amen.

What a wonderful day today was.
This is based on two things for me.

1.) My mother made chicken dumplings and invited me over for dinner. Whatever God may be, I thank God for that woman.
2.) I got to see my best friend from Highschool today. Marcus Vandrovec, friend tried and true. He has always been there for me when I needed him, but I had not seen him for about a year or so, so it was great to see him again.

All in all today was a pretty good day. I studied a lot, and got some good work around the house done, and managed to do some beer drinkin' with an old pard from 'the good ol' days".
Wny can't all weekends be like this one. anm and his wife finished moving into their new house with the aid of my truck Friday, so I picked it back up from him today. I hate driving his GEO Tracker, it makes me feel like a dork (more than usual).

Well back to the dull drudgery of studying I suppose...

i have never liked the number thirteen. superstition to a point, i guess it's just instilled, but the sound bothers me for some reason. i am tired.

my vision, lack of it, is very peculiar. thinking.. it makes me think, it makes me wonder at things, the universe as seen through a blurry haze. i miss the leaves, all the individual leaves. i miss being able to see and not having to hurt for it.

i wonder if it seems too much for you that sometimes i can distance myself so much from the world that i could exist, if only temporarily, just for you. just for your thoughts or to lose myself in your eyes..

i am the way that i am. it is odd, that it took me so long to realize that.
Well, that was a weekend...

Worked for about 7-8 hours writing a lab report on the thermodynamics of an acid base neutralization between an unknown acid and NaOH of a known molarity. For those of you that don't understand what that means: I mixed acid and base and took its temperature. Yes, thats what it boils down to. Hours and hours of calculating free energies, enthalpy, entropy... all basically a styrofoam cup with a thermometer in it.

Other excitements of the day: Alpha Chi Sigma pledge meeting... Basically they told us to get our asses in gear with the stuff that we need to do before we are initiated. We were informed that if we don't learn the stuff we need to (history of the frat, stuff like that) they will start beating us down soon. (Not a real beat down... they don't really haze or anything like some other frats do)

That was pretty much my day. Another glorious day here at Cornell University. At least i have thanksgiving to look forward to... (of course that means finals are around the corner... damnit)

Oh my god!!! I forgot to buy bus tickets again!!! The longer i wait the greater the chance i won't be able to get tickets to go home during thanksgiving!!! I'd better remember tomorrow. Better write myself a note...

November 13th in history



Monday the 13th. *sigh*

Well, this really applies to my sunday tho... day went well. it was my grandma's birthday, we went to Thalia's it's some semi-lame mexican food restraunt in the south valley (for albuquerque people... broadway and gibson to be exact). Had enchiladas, however that's spelled. Otherwise I've spent the rest of the day sitting around feeling kinda edgy. I've been pushing around ideas.
1. need my own place. I don't really wanna move out, but my family is driving me insane.
2. I have a bad feeling about these elections, and the state of our nation in terms of where it's loyalties lie. Starting to envision riots that will eventually turn into class wars, which will spin off into a civil war... west vs. east over things like race, morality, religion, and ideals. Anyways.
Not quite sure what to make of it all. I wanna write a few nodes about this philosophy of mine, but I'm not sure how to go about it. See, I sit around a LOT and think. nothing more, just think. I'd like to commit my thoughts to E2, but they're far too important for daylogs... so maybe I'll write them, then index them with a seprate node. Then... where to start?

These can be answered later, I should get to bed.

Oh fine, Happy Happy E2

I woke up this morning to the sound of one of my best friends on the phone with another friend of ours, making plans to go to breakfast. It was 11am. I didn't go to bed until 7. Needless to say, I wasn't very hungry but I was cranky enough for everybody at the table.

After breakfast, we went back to his house and I feel back asleep again, woke up, moved to a bed, feel asleep again. Woke up, stumbled into the computer room, stumbled back into bed and feel asleep again. i woke up about 6:30 this evening.

Then I went home, made dinner, talked with my siblings for a bit on the phone, and spent quality time with my dog. Pretty easy day. I'm trying to make them all similar to this one.

3 days til surgery

11 hours til my Russian oral quiz that I'm totally unprepared for

43 minutes before I start to cram for the same exam

I have the sneaking suspicion that whatever has set up camp in my lungs and sinuses is the flu. Yes, the flu , decimator of millions. And so all weekend I've been telling myself, in so many words: "Get thee to a pharmacy." But between Friday's screwdrivers and fuzzy navels and Saturday's recovery from the afformentioned beverages, I haven't taken my own advice. And now, on the eve of another long week, I'm surrounded by used tissues and cough drop wrappers and pouting over the fact that I missed The Simpsons. Plus, I just sneezed all over my 'puter. Life's not fair.

Well, that was enough bitching, wasn't it? Time for happiness: Happy Birthday, E2 ! I know we haven't known each other very long, and I didn't get you anything, but enjoy your day, anyways.

As an aside, isn't it (slightly) interesting to see how people categorize their daylogs? For some people a day is a person, for others it's an idea or a thing... What the hell; for me, November 13, 2000 is going to be a place. Don't ask me to explain it, it just is.

I see it's a place for Spacklequeen, too...I guess there really are no original ideas.
I just spent two hours in a room with friends of my parents grilling me about my future and university.
I am hung over.
I just had my friend tell me that the essay that has taken me four hours to write looks like it was written in twenty minutes.
I have a ten year old girl pestering me about why the magic 8 ball doesn't work all the time.
I need to rewrite my essay.
I don't have a date for the semi-formal on friday.
My cable connection is not working.
I am tempted to just scream fuck the world and do something rash that I will regret.
I can't seem to focus my eyes.

This is teenage angst at its best. It doesn't get any better than this.

Today is my mom's birthday. I have to be happy, an unlikely possibility.

But now that I think about it, I am. It could be worse.

So there we were, just outside of Columbus, GA., waiting for three ounces in the most rackedy of shacks. I was reluctant to even enter, but the idea of being the only person left in the car didn't appeal to me either. So I joined them. Facing me is a skinny white kid with a shaved head and wifebeater, talking about getting kicked out of school for fighting with 'niggers.' One black guy is in the room, sitting beside his blonde (but handicapped looking) barefoot white girlfriend (who is half his age.) The mother of the bunch is sitting on the floor, playing jeopardy on an age-old Sega Genesis... The subject of sandwiches comes up, and she argues in favor of Maijonaise Sandwiches. Her face looks like a leather urinal, long, worn... stained.
The walls are adorned with all sorts of shite, from old barbies in boxes to 'indian' posters, tumbtacked photos and other personal relics, some of which have been put in an inverted plastic coke-bottle rack.

I'm from Alabama, and I haven't seen anything this redneck, ever.

Finally, the guy arrives with the stuff, he is paid and we are free to leave. I understand why these people need drugs - I don't think I could live a week in these types of conditions, I would need to dumb myself down in order to even exist.

back | days | forth

Bizarre that so many people already have daylogs when it's only 8am here...

Normally Mondays are like any other boring work day; nothing much happens and I can snooze until midday and my manager wakes up. Today, however, I have already cut my nose while shaving (How? I don't know), argued with my brother over pizza (why? I don't know) and prepared myself for a day of pain because my leg is reacting to the cold weather...

All this seems cancelled out, negated by the fact that I got a rather nice letter today from my fiancee (written before I proposed :-) This has cheered me up rather a lot, thanks Dana :-)

11:20 GMT

I'm rather glad that the worst thing that has happened so far is the insistence of my project leader that I use windows 2000 as our external web server...

At some point I will have to discuss my future plans with my general manager and project leader; they need to know what I am planning with regard to moving to the US. Of course the ideal situation would be for me to continue to work for Sony, just do it from the US via the net. Unfortunately, despite recent proclamations of their broadband and networking future, Sony is very backward when it comes to teleworking. 99% of my job could be accomplished from anywhere in the world that had a fast net connection, but of course my bosses don't see things that way. Which sucks, by the way.

15:35 GMT

Hum, why will openGL never work on my Linux box? Every time I attempt to install the drivers, GL will lock up the box. Every time. Arse.

Laters, dudes...

Happy bE2yrthdeayi...


The second studying period of the year started today.

Monday the 13th.

My Nokia 9110 decided to strike & riot today. AGAIN. No PDA. Nothing. (This has inspired me to think of Getting A Normal Cellphone + PalmPilot, but perharps not...) =(

My bicycle tire went flat when I was hurrying to the university. =( =(

The first course started at 8, and - you guessed it - it was titled "Principles of project work". Stuff that somehow manages to make me a bit drowsy. =( =( =(

There's a hell of a lot work (no other way to put it) involved with this period's excercises and assignments. =( =( =( =(

The rumor (our schedule) sez there's a course that started at 10 o'clock in L3. It's not in that room's schedule, however, and no one showed up anyway! Another course, however, starts there at noon, and I'm going there.


Regarding replies that some people insist on putting on the top of the message rather than to where they belong (after quoted text): If you have to whine about netiquette, you should at least try to defend your point of view thus:

"(naughty descriptive word) (Newsreader vendor) is (another, possibly naughtier word) because they haven't set up the 'followup' command to jump directly after the message, and I'm too (less naughty word) lazy to move the cursor myself! (Newsreader vendor) can (insulting description of vendor's self-destruction in three to six paragraphs)! And (even more naughty word) GNKSA can (insulting description of sexual activity that's probably banned in puritan-ruled areas), because they haven't made that a requirement! And Microsoft can (the highest imaginable insult imaginable to the sayer)(', Even if they didn't make this program.' if the user is using something other than OE.)"

(I wrote that for rec.games.roguelike.nethack.)


OK, I'll comment briefly of what happened in weekend...

In Kuhmo, I fixed the old machine of mine - well, Win95 still hangs when used, but I fixed that...

...by installing Debian 2.1. =)

I also bashed through a lot of stuff in the UML book and stuff.

Other day logs o' mine...

Noded today by y.t.: GNKSA Monday the 13th

We have finished performing Into the Woods for the last time. I feel incredibly depressed. I felt like someone close to me just died. Is this how it always feels when you finish a musical? *Sigh*

It's Year 9 Camp this week. I'm not going. I always have hated camps. I'm not really sure why. I'll write it up when I find out.

Mum is telling me to get off the computer, so I'll sumbit it and work on it later.

Dreadful day at work in Sydney. Introduced Office 2001 to 45 salivating marketing dweebs, did low impact techsports all morning 'cause Claire is away this week on TurboLinux training. 1pm catchup with the PHB revealed, over 120 excrutiating minutes, that he knows I'm leaving, and that I know I'm leaving, but nothing can be said as cards must be held close to chests in this messed up corporate culture. I'm as honest as I dare. Called the management team (in which I am the most vocal and increasingly obnoxious member) a peanut gallery, PHB didn't argue the statement. I'm raging but cannot leave until all these loose ends are tied well. Systems running like clockwork but undocumented (hell I thought I'd be here forever...).

Good stuff today: Mandrake, OpenSSH2, You Only Live Twice, Asahi birru, friends, e2 (thanks nate and bones and the rest of you...)

Merrin is her name.

I met her on Friday during my lunch break. The new girl in my life. Dressed in an electric blue suit, I was wondering how she would fit into my style: daggy. Eighteen years old and looking more mature,was it obvious who older?

Fears aside, she was offered the job today. She would be by myside all day, starting next week. The invasion of personal space will begin... her knee, my knee; her hand, my hand - a jostle for space in a finite area.

I will observe her work, like I observed the last girl, Lisa. I will depend on her, just as she will serve me. Maybe we can be friends too...

She is my new nurse.

Why did Lisa leave?

Monday the 13th:

I am thankful for these 5 things:
hair dye
my gorgeous little cat who fetches
talking to rancid_pickle
home made chili con carne
mousie, care of Webster 1913

I am afraid of:
The Ghost of Herpes Past and I'll be calling Planned Parenthood as soon as they open.

Happy Birthday E2. Hope I'm clean.
I would like to note on this day that my best friend told me not an hour ago, "Hey, Zach, you really need to go out, find a random girl, and get laid."

And he was serious. Granted, I can understand why - I've been moody and/or drunk ever since my SO and I had that dreaded "talk"... but Jesus. I wish my pain wasn't so obvious to the real world.

Oh well...

Happy Birthday, E2!

oh, shit, i forgot to get a present... someone cover for me? please?

despite accomplishing almost nothing this weekend, this was really one of the better weekends i've had in a while. friday the man came over, we went out for dinner at a local deli, rented movies, got some wine and hung out. we were up until 4:30am just talking. we slept in on saturday, then i got an itch to go buy more books about succulents and so we went to borders. a nice (but odd) lady started up a conversation with me -- initiating it by saying she had overheard me mention botany and asked if i knew from what part of marijuana plants did industrial hemp for rope and cloth come from. although i don't, and have never grown marijuana (except one plant, once) i have a strong interest in entheogenic and medicinal plants, and so i pointed out to her some excellent reading which will educate about marijuana without being a big stupid how-to on growing dope in your basement or closet without your parents finding out. she mentioned that as a stewardess for an airline she became aquainted with a haitian voodoo priest who educated her on medicinal plants of the area. i pointed out to her a fabulous book, called Pharmako / Poeia. although she seemed like an interesting and nice enough lady, i am just never very interested in maintaining conversations with strangers -- so i went back to reading a succulent encyclopedia and figuring out which cacti and succulent book would best suit my needs.

i got it in my head that i wanted to cook dinner for the man (the first time in over a year of dating). so i went to the store and got chicken breasts, portabello mushrooms, orzo pasta, tomatoes, olives, olive oil, mozzarella and parmesan cheese. so i made dinner and his only complaint what that i put too much olive oil on the pasta (i gotta agree, but it was still yummy).

we spent part of the evening having long conversations and part of the evening having wrestling matches. i wound up with a bruised foot, but i gave him a good punch or two in the stomach so we're even.

sunday morning we slept in, then he left and i did my laundry and cleaned the house a bit.
wake up, take a shower, go to work. early... they should be roofing the apartment and they should have my parking area blocked off between 7am and 5pm -- i have been going to work at 6:30 in order to avoid having my car towed. but so far there hasn't been any sign of work on my building and other cars have remained parked in the lot. maybe i read the notice wrong. or maybe they're behind on their work.

anyway, this morning on my way out the door my neighbour was walking his dog, lefty. lefty came over to say hi to me and i noticed that he was exhibiting behaviour i had only ever seen in my recently deceased dog -- we called it smiling, but most other people would think he was growling. danny used to smile so much he'd make himself sneeze over and over again. lefty smiled at me today. when i pointed it out to bill he said that anyone who'd ever noticed it assumed he was growling and was afraid. nah, i know that doggie expression.

so now i'm at work, fixing my messed up computer and drinking coffee. lots of coffee. my computer is really being unhappy right now. overall, i like windows 2000 better than windows 98, but -- there are some things about it that really just rub me the wrong way. fortunately i do most of my work on various unixes, i use windows 2000 only on the system from which i check my e-mail.
This morning, the usual pre-dawn drive to work. The machine, however, was covered in ice, and me, being a new resident of California, did not expect to need an ice scraper. Did what I could with some dry leaves; made a little looking hole on the windshield. It took the defroster a half hour to do the rest.

There is a little narrow bridge I have to cross to get from our gravel/dirt road to the first real road; it is as narrow as a car and has no sides of any kind. It is covered in ice, white as you like, and I skid when I'm half way across. I do panic, but don't react from it; my New England upbringing springs into gear - I don't touch the brakes, point the wheels in the direction I'm going, and (Bob's yer uncle) I make it!

Although TV news talks about a "crisis", aside from the node above I haven't seen, heard, or met anyone who is worried about the election situation. Even if the votes in Florida are not resolved, the electoral college will vote on December 18. All, some, or none of Florida's electors may be there; no one will wait for them.

In the meantime, Boy George has put on a pair of his father's shoes, and his father's jacket, and he is walking up and down, pretending to be president. He has not quite learned how to harrumph!, but he is working on it. Because the shoes are a bit big for him, Dick Cheney has to hold his hand when he goes up and down the stairs.

It looks like all George has to do is wait, and he will be president. But waiting is hard for him...

Personally, I am more concerned and interested in what's happening in Israel, since that could easily turn into a war or police action, or whatever they're calling them nowadays.

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Everything,
Happy Birthday to you!

Well, now thats been taken care of, today has been the same as usual:

  1. Woke up at 7:00 a.m. (with only having two hours of sleep... again.)
  2. Got yelled at by 'Mom'. (Geez, mom it wasn't me, the cat was looking at the porno again! Honest!)
  3. Left for school at 8:20 a.m. (Oh...... I love the smell of burning oil from a blown head gasket in the morning!)
  4. And that brings me to where I am now, telecommunications III. (Fun stuff, not! I shouldn't even be on Everything right now. 'Uh oh..... no Mrs. Warman... I'm not on the web, this is my new web site I'm making....')

Sorry E2, no gift this year, go bug Nate for a gift.

I am feeling all sort of out of sorts today. Every little thing is driving me nuts today. I need to have internet access at home, as much as the thought of going back to dial up makes me cringe. Computer labs are nerve racking to say the very least. I think that this particular one is second in popularity to the library in ranking for the best quiet place to disturb by hollering into your cell phone. I don't hate cell phones. I fucking despise bad manners and/or lack of propriety. I might be crazy but I am burdened with the apparent secret that I am not the only person who lives on the planet. Should I bother? Yes, I do need a nap.

This weekend was equally divided between an 18 hour sleep spree (which I needed so badly - wow, my brain really does operate better after sleeping for more than a couple of hours a night) and a massive cleaning of my room. This doesn't sound like a massive endeavor but

The embarassing part is that it took 16 hours of constant work and I'm not even done. Yes, I am swine. Ten bags of garbage later and some floorboards are visible. I only found one dead bird which was a relief. Jesus, that sounds really awful. I should just burn my house down and move on.

So, anyway, the room is clean(er) and the girl is happy. Mission accomplished, I guess. My life makes your life look exciting but I'm really happy. Why do I feel like such an asshole saying that?

Happy Birthday E2

One year ago to the day (November 13, 1999), all the old e1 nodes were moved to e2. Galactic Emperor Nate sat in his darkened throne chamber with the captive Luke Nodewriter. Nate, in his best "evil voice" intoned the words "It is time to demonstrate the power of the fully armed and operational database system". "Bring up the firewall, charge the T-3s and fire when ready." "Oh, and unleash the Death Borg"

Or at least that's how I imagined it; I wasn't here then, I was on a sabbatical researching node-fu. (Ok, ok, so I just forgot about e1 for a year, then came back this April and found e2 up and running.)

What a weekend. Where to begin...

Got the serial numbers from my stolen phone and Palm to the police. If the thugs try to pawn 'em off, they'll hit a brick wall - unless, of course, they've scratched 'em off...

Actually, the weekend was pretty much uneventful. Spent almost the entire weekend at my friends' apartment... I'm practically living there, but it's nice to be out of the house for long periods of time.

Got a new cell phone to replace the one that got stolen. I miss the jog dial from my old Sony phone, but this Motorola's got some nice features - espically WAP support. Too bad my service doesn't include WAP. :( I'd love to write a little script so I could node with my cell phone... Maybe just read and vote, but still fun nonetheless. It's already been dubbed the l33tf0n3 II in memory of the original l33tf0n3... Let's just hope the l33tp4lm comes back in one piece - fat chance though.

Sleep... Sleep kicks ass. Got quite a bit more than usual this weekend, but I didn't get anything else - unfortionately. No time on E2 (actually, very little), fell behind with my e-mail and my job, and the parents are really starting to wonder what I'm doing all these nights I spend at an apartment inhabited by two females. I am quite rested, however, yet still frustrated over the situation with her

Began reading Green Mars again. Figured I'd start in the middle of the trilogy then go back and read Red Mars as a history lesson before moving onto Blue. The trilogy is quite an epic tale, and I'd highly recommend it to those that enjoy heavy characterization and/or realistic sci-fi.

Now it's time for me to work... Actually, it was time to do that almost 6 hours ago. Grr... Gotta be getting up a little earlier than that if I wanna get anywhere in life. Oh well, bite me.

Alright I'm pissed off with nodes that don't credit your source.

Someone, who shall remain nameless but who is of a level that should know better, has been noding the contents of a web site. There have been around 40 nodes, all of which have had a good score on them and quite a few have been cooled. All from web site, whose owner I vaguely know. I have been after the noder for over a month to do the decent thing and either a) pull the nodes or b) credit the source. Lo and behold I see an addition to the index node for their little noding spree, siting the web site as a reference. Reference? It's not a damned reference. You've ripped the whole thing off, word for word, with the odd trimming of a sentence. Thats not a reference, thats copying. Add onto that cheekiness is the fact you're getting cooled for it. I hope you're happy with passing off other's work as your own, because I'm angry, and they might just cancel out.

This is not to say of course I haven't done cut and paste writeups before, but I've been slapped for them, I've done the decent thing and changed or pulled them. I'm no angel, but this takes the biscuit.

I feel like I might be getting the cold that is going around my house – just in time for everyone else to be feeling groovy and start taking advantage of me again. After a week where I was the Human Kleenex, now I get, “Go way Mrs. Mama, do suppin’ else”, when I catch my toddler trying to change all the buttons on the stereo.

We watched Blue’s Clues (yay Steve, whatta hottie), and Alice In Wonderland. Katie is enthralled by the bread and butterflies and thinks the walrus looks like the Lorax, big bonus. I am toying with the idea that I may be able to make a Lorax for Katie for Christmas, it doesn’t look all that hard, just a lump with a droopy mustache. Then she can take him around the backyard screaming, “I am da Woxax! I speak a da shwees!” She is smitten with him, my bossy little environmentalist.

I watched If These Walls Could Talk and cried through most of it. Abortion is tough one. It is a hard choice to make, and a hard one not to make, depending on the circumstance. It’s like having a leg caught in a bear trap and having to chew your way out of it. No one would ever wish to be stuck like that, in a no-win situation. The brunt of the burden falls on women’s shoulders and no matter which choice is made there will always be a nagging sense that there might have been another way. Funny thing about pregnancy though, you only have so much time to figure things out.

I thought these thoughts while holding my son, bouncing him on my knee and smelling his head. Abortion was not considered when I got pregnant, but then, I have a husband I love very much. What if I did not love him? What if it was a one night stand? What if I had six kids already and was about to go back to school? What if I knew in my heart that it was not a good idea for me to be a mother? Who knows what I would do then. I am glad I don’t have to be making that choice, but I would like to know there was a choice if it happened to me.

R. B. P. M.: Really Bad Pop Music; an obsession.

Most do not think of pop music in terms of obsessions. I however, do. It's a passion; specifically, I collect all forms of really bad pop music; my passion.

I collect this like there couldn't possibly be a tomorow. And we're not talking Michael Jackson pop; not Celine Dion; not Madonna; not the Backstreet Boys. We're talking about obscure, and even unknown artists like Cathy Dennis, Soul Decision, No Authority and Reflex. NKOTB this is not, as they actually sold records (sad though that may be). These people? Do not sell records.

This weekend I purchased a single from Joy Enriquez, a relative unknown in the field of Pop as her album won't debut in stores until February of 2001. A Hong Kong import of the 3rd Cathy Dennis album not sold or distributed in America. An album by Phoenix Stone because he seems to be a cross between Steve Best and Reflex, and for those in the know, you do NOT want to cross these two together. And the 2nd album by No Authority.

Why, some of you are thinking, would any sane person purchase anything of this sort? I have one word for you: torture. Simply put, R. B. P. M. is the highest form of torture I've found. I'm obsessed with the torture of my neighbors, my friends, those I carpool with, my parents, and my pet. Yes, that's right, I'm obsessed with torture. That's God's own truth.

Now, as my friend Dorn has shown me Everything2's daily logs, I get to inflict my poor taste in methods of torture on you, my unassuming captive audience. This is a sharing of ideas, and should in no way influence your music purchases. Try it sometime. Pick a truly hideous artist of the pop music variety, put it in the stereo and turn-up the volume. Watch people change shades of color you never thought possible. Watch as you drive some to not only flee, but to stumble and gag. I've actually made one friend vomit from listening to a Track by Boyzone. There's nothing like driving someone home from a party while listening to BBMak. They groan and moan and shift in their seat. Some even pick fights with you, fingers wildly poking at the stereo in the car's dash to get it to stop. And there's nothing so much joyful as the warm fuzzies one receives when one's pet actually starts to cry-out in pain to a CD.

Speaking of torture, see my dream log for November 13, 2000. Now if that isn't about torture, I don't know what is.


TODAY: The Annual Cycle Of E2 Completed

It seemed like it wasn't that long ago.

Sat Nov 13 1999. The original battle cry of E2.

Every old node, every old person, place, thing, or idea from the original Everything came into being on E2. Some came armed with Magic Amulets Of The Holy Order Of The Amperstand to protect them. Some made no sense anymore. Some we wished we never wrote.

And now it is the anniversary of that date. The day when all the condemned souls of E1 nodes long past will rise from the grave to haunt us again.

This time, no one will be safe.

2:45 PM EST -- Pac-Man forever

Scored over 50K on old-school Pac-Man.

Besides that, I also failed a Physics test. I really hate Physics class now. Seriously. I'll just be glad when it and it's accompanying course NEXT semester is over so I'll never have to look at Physics again in my life.

But, that's not the only thing. My dad's still on a house-cleaning RAMPAGE RAMPAGE RAMPAGE!, and my room's still cluttered with junk. Ah, well, it's cleaner now that I've vacated the dresser. Time to play more of the Legend Of Zelda: Groundhog Day or some UnF (Hey, it's full of bugs, but what isn't on it's first release?)...

All day I've been looking at the date and thinking to myself: What occasion am I forgetting?

I knew it was something I'd seen a lot. November 13... was it Thanksgiving already? Veterans Day? Someone's birthday? Did I forget to send a present?

Somehow I knew it was a vaguely unpleasant memory. Kristallnacht? No, that was a few days ago. Besides, that's more than vaguely unpleasant. I only knew that seeing the date made me frown.

And then I was face to face with a November horror, the kind of writeup that usually has a date of... wait a minute, that's it! I've gotten such an aversion to the date November 13 that, without realizing it, I'd turned it into a personal holiday.

Happy Birthday, E2, and may today's writeups suck much less.

I have this thing with thirteenths. I wouldn't call them lucky for me, but I would call them… monumental.

The past five months have been long and bizarre and I have yet to figure them out. The first thirteenth, June, I kissed a boy I wasn't really planning to kiss. The fact that I'd been dating someone else for a year and a half up to that point made it all the more unsuspected. But I'd see the decline of the latter relationship coming for quite some time; it just took a little push (or a little kiss) to get it to fall off that hill. Then, right around July thirteenth I finally gave up on the former.

August thirteenth I saw the end of my life in sight when I nearly drowned in a scuba diving mishap. We were thrown up against coral reefs trying to make our way out of the sea, and I killed hundreds of years worth of growth by stepping on the pieces. I still have the scars from where coral entered my skin, fighting back against me as it were. One of those scars has something growing in it. I might be coming up for surgery soon.

September 13th a boy kissed me, and this is the one that really blew me away. My surprise was even greater than it was in June. He was an old, old friend I'd admired for a very long time, and I wasn't ready to kiss him without caring for him more. October 13th we parted. The shock is actually quite faded now, but I'm still writing poems about that one.

… I wonder what will happen today.

He’s a pisces. A dragon. A mafia type. An incredible musician. And he’s driving me crazy.

He was my manager at the coffee shop I worked at. We lost the shop the day after I kissed him goodnight. He’s Greek, but he looks Irish. That’s because his mom is Lithuanian and Polish. Freckles, and lots of them. His mom likes me . She took us out twice! last week. To an Italian restaurant, where else. Irony and I have this old game we like to play, care to join? She thinks I can make something out of him. Maybe I could, but I’m not interested.

See, I don’t mind fixing broken bird wings, especially if the bird really wants to fly. But what if there are no broken wings and they still don’t want to fly? What if they came from a cushy nest, and could play the prettiest bird songs on any instrument (and I do mean any, drums and bass the best though) they could find. But they don’t care about their gift, they already toured with other birds, played brilliant bird games, seen amazing bird towns. But they can’t get up to go try it all again.

I went for him because I had a hole in my heart. I had already driven 15 hours to make things better, but it hadn’t worked. I couldn’t wait by a phone that never rang or read email that never appeared. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to escape from the realities that were closing in around me. So I jumped at the chance. I figured no one would care because it was obvious they didn’t at the time.

I started dating. For the first time in two years. I had almost forgotten how to do it. I felt almost cherished, for an instant, girlie. I think I had the gist when suddenly everything went crazy. He told me he loved me and asked me to marry him. What!?!?! This was merely days after our getting together. I was caught up, flabberghasted. I said yes because I thought this was my chance to escape myself, to escape boys made of smoke and mirrors. Don’t we always think and do the stupidest things when we’re really hurting? Anything to make it stop, to keep ourselves busy. This all happened early Halloween morning.

He hemmed and hawed the next day. I took it back because I realized how ridiculous it was, at least at this point in time. He took it back too, and we resigned ourselves to dating. Which was merely just hanging out. And then I began seeing what little we truly had in common. He didn’t feel the same intensity I do, and frankly, it was unnerving to think I could just jump into something like that. I couldn’t stand being with someone who felt so little passion. So, I guess I was spoiled.

Besides, I could never ever marry someone I don’t love. My love belonged to another long before he came along. It wouldn’t be fair.

And I sit there, at Insomnia, eating my sammich, drinking my Bass, listening to him talk about himself. Again. He doesn’t need me there, I’m just scenery so it doesn’t look like he’s talking to himself about himself. And I couldn’t breathe. So I went home to wonder how long it would take to figure out I wasn’t sitting next to him anymore.

But he is a good person, so I have to let him know he is not the person who can pin me down. I have met only one who could do this, and as much as I think of Ficus, he ain’t the one. So I have to be gentle and confront this……tell him and be completely honost. Honosty is generally the furthest thing from easy there is. I really don’t want to hurt him. Maybe he’ll be so caught up in himself that he won’t notice I’ve left.

It's LASER TAG time baby!!! I just got invited to my girlfriend's little brother's birthday party. It'll be cool, he (tim) is turning 12 and all of his friends are gonna sleep over at his house. in the invitation their mother made a little p.s. at the bottm saying that she doesnt think that dave, their father will probably not let me do the sleep-over part though. damn!! oh well, there's always his 13th b-day. hehe.

I had another great day at my new job today!! yay!! i actually got it to waste some time durring the day. before i never did my reading for school, so i figured that if i got a job, then i'd have less time. so then i'd have to prioritize the shit i had to do. it amazing how you dont spend hours upon hours sitting in front of the computer wasting my mind into nothingness. so now i jsut spend the precious time i do get to spend on the computer noding. ok it's simpsons time. later ya'll.

~02:00 GMT This has been a mixed-up day for me. I got all of my work done in the first half of my day, so it left me with the second half to surf around and think about stuff.

This is the week we get paid, so I know a bunch of us will probably wind up at the strip club for lunch on Friday. I was thinking about going to see Kawana tomrrow, but since she is only there during my work hours, I would have to get into work late to go visit. I was thinking about asking her on Friday to come along with me to our company's Christmas party, but I want to make sure she'll be there on Friday. The only way I can think to do that is to go there tomorrow (when I know she's working) and find out if she'll be there on Friday.

Everyone at work is strongly encouraging me to ask her. They're telling me that it's not a big deal to ask, but for me it is. I've never asked a girl out to any kind of event before, let alone one as beautiful and sweet as Kawana. One of my co-workers tells me that if I can ask her to dance naked for me, then it shouldn't be much of a deal to ask her to come along on a social event. I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes, I agree that it shouldn't be a big deal, but I get shaky now just thinking about it.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do tomorrow yet. I've thought about it for a long time today, and I think that I need to do it because I need to prove to myself that I can be more agressive. "Do one thing every day that scares you." Well this has got me pretty scared. I'm such a wimp :) Besides, I may later regret never having asked, and I'm pretty set up for a let down, so no matter what happens, it can't go all that bad.

I've gotta do this. I want there to be no more regrets in my life. I need to live for it now, because when I'm 40 I'll have really been sorry I didn't. Even if she turns me down, at least I tried, and I won't have spent that time wondering what would have happened.

Why do I always feel like I'm being so pathetic when I write about her?

02:37 GMT

My co-workers really know how to cheer me up. They hung around for quite a while after work, when they could have gone home, and helped to encourage me to feel better about myself, and to help me ratonalize away my social anxieties. I really appreciate their time and efforts, and especially how they have been helping me to break out of my shell. I hope that I can somehow fully repay their kindness.

I thought I'd do a little experiment in posting my own journal to E2 without editing (only adding in links), just to see what happens.

Andy Goldsworthy’s new book has rubbed off on me. But I don’t remember getting this much from the first book I read of his. I’ve found myself noticing things in naturearound me. I noticed a perfect rock sitting right next to the reddest leaves on campus today and felt like it was odd that they were apart and not together. If I hadn’t had other things to do today, I would have stopped and played with them. Maybe I should have. Maybe I will tomorrow. Not enough water around to make them stick, though. It rained over the weekend, but most of it has dried out by now. It was still overcast today, but no rain. Cold (low 40’s) and dry.

I can also directly attribute the beginning of this journal to Goldsworthy’s style in “Time.” I like the perspective his journal provided into his work, and thought perhaps writing and reading over my own journal might provide me insight into myself.

Another uneventful day of classes. History was even boring, as we studied the demographics of population growth of the middle ages. I got home and wasted time sitting around, chatting with people on IM and reading a little of Rachel and Her Children. I have to read that book in spurts of chapters because it’s emotionally too intense to take in at once. Its like a rich chocolate cake which you have to eat in bits because it’s too rich to eat at once.

Rachel (my ex), in a turn I find oddly ironic, has persuaded me to call up Emily and ask for a date. I figure dinner on Friday night would be a fine place to start. Fire & Ice would be a good place, if a bit cliché, but regardless... I called her, but she wasn’t in. Left a message asking her to call me and screwed up the number as I was leaving it. I started to leave my home phone number in California (this is how nervous I was), laughed at myself, then left my real number. She hasn’t, as of 12:30 in the morning called back yet. I left the message at a little before 8 pm. I’m not terribly good at this, I don’t have a lot of practice. Nor a lot of patience.

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