Day -1: I think I'm supposed to say something to those people who sit on the stairs around me or just stand there, when I sit, on a dirty steps, leaning on my knees like I'm sitting in a
sauna, reading a book. Occasionally I turn my head up, look around the hallway below teeming with people, and look back down at the book. The thing is,
I have nothing to say. Should I talk to them about
normality of
e? About my day of
baldur's gate and
starcraft, or the lousy
american comedies that our
soly commercial TV spurts out a constant rate? These days, it seems, the only vaguely social thing I do is
gamble. It's strange thing, that coin; I like to think I'm not
superstitious but I can't help but to wonder when this one fellow win again and again on that damned coin, but when someone else throws the coin instead of him, he loses. Strange thing, that.
Day 0: I did something slightly odd today. We were on our compulsory post-lunch break "fresh air" break and it was raining outside. Having always been fond of the feeling of water falling out of sky on my face, flowing over my eyebrows in my eyes and gluing my hair to my forehead, I stood in the rain and soaked. Did visit the nearby green-ish woods too at a suggestion from another rain-man, and then walked back to mathematics class in a wet flannel shirt and eyeglasses I couldn't see through. The pentecostal fundie christian suggested I'd adopted a new philosophy of punishing the body or whatever it is those monks did some hundred years ago.
Inspired by that incident, after the swedish class during which I was acting uncharacteristically alive, I walked, in the pour that had lasted for 6 hours now, for an hour. I didn't want to wait for the bus at the station so I bought myself something sweet and started walking home 40 kilometers away, and was picked up by the bus an hour later, feeling very wet and slightly dizzy. Well, I suppose that taught me something. My head does not feel right.
Of course there's more, but I won't write about that.