Held in the family
in the circle of the family
My mother and uncle
talk about the other aunt
I let it slip
half on purpose
my aunt is hurt
my cousin is angry
the wagons circle
I take the blame
while my mother and
uncle stay silent
they don't talk about
my aunt in front of me
again and I am glad
I don't like it
my mother is dead
I read her journal
describing how she tells my sister
what one cousin says about her
to the others and
my sister is hurt
and angry and calls the
one cousin on the carpet
There are thirty years
between these events
I ask my father before he dies
if he will return to the lake
I helped to build your uncle's cabin
he says yet the log never
mentions me. He is not family
only blood is mentioned
they say we love you
but, says my cousin,
if you make me choose
I won't choose you
ah, don't rock the boat
don't speak up, don't object
the gossip circle tightens
like a noose around our necks
my uncle has not spoken
to his cousin since 911
they are 92 and 82
an example for us all
I send them love
from a very very great distance
I have left the circle
and they say this is love
how many families have love
that comes at a price
that comes with scapegoats
that comes with a poisoned well
my heart loves them
from a very very great distance
they set up a straw girl
and light the torch again