I want to go to college.
I don't mean hypothetically, at some point in the future, I want to go to college. I want
to go right now. I'm tired of all the bullshit that takes place in high school. I'm tired of
all these people who just hate everybody else, who spend all their time picking apart each
other's flaws. I'm tired of spending hours in advanced placement classes with kids who are
dropping down drunk.
I'm tired of stupid bullshit. I'm tired of Chaucerian poems about Hugh
Hefner being paraded around as great works of literature. I'm tired of sitting in mindless
English classes in general, actually, with a teacher who wouldn't know art
if it punched her in the face. I was so tired of it that I spent a full week just walking out
of the room for a half-hour every class and wandering the halls. Now I'm banned from leaving
the class to even go to the bathroom, and spend my time furtively reading books that I enjoy
while our teacher asks us to rank members of society by race.
Why the hell don't I just leave, then? If this place is so stupid, what's holding me back? A
lot of things. I have a girlfriend who's one of the few people that actually understands me.
I have friends who often aren't bad people to be around. I've got a pretty easy life, all
things considered.
I've got a family,
too, but all they really do is fight. So they're not really keeping me anywhere.
If I didn't have all these things that tied me down, I'd be off like a shot. If it weren't for the occasional daub of intellectual companionship,
I'd have gone to college by now. I would have just walked the hell out of this bullshit high
school and gone somewhere where you learn things. Where you appreciate things.
This town is a deathtrap for the mind. Nobody here tries to change anything. Complaining
about the suburbs is useless rhetoric, but it's still quite the shock to discover that
nobody in the suburbs has any dreams, anyways. They grow up to be happy little doctors and
lawyers and live here for generations.
Me, I want to live in the city, I want to live where there are real
people. I want to be where there's an exchange of ideas, where there's thought, where
the best minds of my generation will not be starved. I've been two places in my whole
life that really foster thought. I know they're out there; I know something's better than this
hole in the ground. Sooner than later, I'll get there.