Real programmers don't write specs. Users should consider themselves lucky to get anything
Real programmers write their own assemblers, preferably in LISP.
Real programmers aren't afraid to use GOTO's.
Real programmers don't eat quiche. They eat junk food and drink Coca Cola.
Real programmers know better than the users what they need.
Real programmers don't draw flowcharts. Cavemen drew flowcharts, and look where it got them.
Real programmers don't write in COBOL. Applications programming is for sissies.
Real programmers know structured and object oriented programming are communist plots
Real programmers use xor in everyday conversation
Real programmers don't produce results. They just return exit codes
Real programmers don't write in APL, unless the whole program can be written in one line.
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.' - Larry Wall
Real programmers never grow old. They suffer from bugs in their DNA.
Real programmers never grow old. They suffer from burnouts or monumental crashes.
Real programmers write self-modifying code
Real programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no one past puberty writes in BASIC.
Real programmers write executable code directly with a binary editor
Real programmers don't write in LISP, or any language with more parentheses than code