Things have finally worked themselves out.
I got to spend some quality time with Laurel in the first time in forever. I miss us being best friends, but its my fault that it's different. It worked out that we both went away to college yet live 45 minutes away from each other. I met her in San Francisco on Saturday, and when I finally saw her standing in front of Old Navy, I writhed my way through that sidewalk crowd and wrapped her up in my arms. She is beautiful. I like her new haircut, its short and red and cute. We went in the toy stores and pretended that we were little kids again. Then we went to the 52nd floor of a building with a fancy restaurant and ordered 3 dollar sodas and talked about everything. I wish that her boyfriend didnt hate me. It is so easy for us to go back to the way things were, it almost scares me. Its been a dream for so long to have her genuinely back in my life again. I hope this time is for real. I will never hurt her again.
Ethan is my boyfriend now. I didnt think that I would end up liking him all that much but now I definitely do. I miss him, he has been gone all weekend. He is nice to me, and he got me a present. I am going to miss him sooo much when winter break comes in a matter of days and we are separated for five weeks. He has the most beautiful eyes, and he makes me happy.
Jesse and I are back to our weird relationship. I tried to do something to him about a week ago so that he would hate me and I wrote him a hateful email, and he surprisingly replied with friendship. I dont understand him at all. So now we are talking again, in a good way, and he wants to see me when I come home. I am not going to cheat on Ethan with him, I promised myself that I am going to be good and not succumb to Jesse. I need to do this for myself most of all.
Other than that, I have four finals this week and Im avoding studying for all of them. Its going to be hell. Wish me luck, Ill be home soon.