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Ninety-nine problems and a bitch ain't one.
From the Sea of Japan to Santiam,
ain't nothing new under the big bright sun.

Low on money and short on SAN points,
tentacles on speed dial, gotta gird these loins,
ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one.

Zombies in the back seat, shoggoths in the front,
colors out of space and graveman's got my coins,
ain't nothing new under the big bright sun.

Ask how I got here, ask why I used duct tape,
sorry honey, I'm just a sucker for the Nameless Shape,
ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one.

Now all god's children got money, and the god spawn got some meat,
the taste of getting eaten first is pretty goddamn sweet.
ain't nothing new under the big bright sun.

Ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one,
ain't nothing new under the big bright sun.