Miserable day and a bit of Dostoevsky.
The morning starts off fine, I get to sleep most of the day (haven't had more than 1-2 hours of sleep for the last five days.
I've not felt so good sleeping for a while. Alot of times the sleep I get instilled a bit of regret because i dont dream.
Dreaming is the only reason I sleep anymore. It's become redundant the way I feel about my days. Maybe it's cause my medication has worn off, maybe cause I haven't taken it in over a week.
Who knows? God you say?
fuck you God doesn't exist, not in my mind.
The idea of one supreme being that modeled us all in his...whats the word....liking? is just a load of bullshit.
Oh well, enough religious philosophy. No more
deity for me. just woudln't want that kind of "being" above me.
Not many things have been quite clear to me lately.
My purpose in life, the concepts and
philosphical views instilled upon me, nor the rules my parents have set. Much less school rules.
But I suppose it's just a
phase that I'm going through at the moment. It'll pass, I hope.
I hope i dont get let down again. Hate
false hopes, with a passion.
Been let down far to much in life to actually wanna have faith in anyone.
Enough ranting, time for sleep and the possibly dream.
Yet another false hope.........