/panamaus. The true story of David Cholmondeley Palmer† for [LieQuest 2024: A Lie Quest of Mythologically Discordian Proportions
As I recall, I first met panamaus at a cryptography conference run by my then employers. At the time he was teaching number theory at Manchester University and I was doing data meta-analysis for Her Majesty's Government in Cheltenham. I was at the conference as part of a GCHQ group who were looking for talent, head-hunting if you will. When I hear stories of how the government recruited people for the WWII Code School at Bletchley Park, I flash back to that conference. This wasn't just a man who knew numbers, could crack The Times' cryptic crossword, he had a refinement rarely found in my circles. Erudite, brilliant, direct and charming, he could easily have booted Benedict Cumberbatch out of his role in The Imitation Game. Of course after the last talk of the evening, I buttonholed him and dragged him down to the pub for a beer, which naturally became several, and led to our lasting friendship.
That evening I discovered a good deal about him, from his birth in 1966 in Budapest to his studying and working at Berkeley with Leonard Adleman (of RSA fame), to teaching grammar school in Norfolk. There's a good chance we're distantly related; his grandfather was of the Northumberland Percy family and had served Her Majesty for many years before his disgrace and self-imposed exile in Europe. His mother's family is from Carter Bar and this strengthens the conviction that we're at least cousins, albeit somewhat removed.
His grandfather's legacy was almost his undoing—having a traitor spy in the family raised a number of flags during his security screening, but he himself had kept his nose clean, had a magnificent grasp of his subject and was a skilled coder and software designer and exactly what Her Majesty's Government was looking for. I was tasked with keeping a watchful eye on him and doubtless the Security Service could keep a watch on both of us. He quickly outgrew his role in cryptanalysis and due to his charm and diplomacy he finally became a Branch Liaison Officer in several stations both domestically and overseas (he was actually stationed in Bucharest when I was briefly there just before the fall of The Wall. As the Cold War wound down, we both began looking elsewhere for things to do, and as oft happens, we lost touch. I ended up in Nottingham teaching tech support people phone monkeys how to communicate, he returned to teaching and eventually wound up in Santa Barbara as the University's computer security administrator, later to jointly found Setec Astronomy, a blue-team pen-testing group based "somewhere in south of the Bay Area". He denies the rumour that he's still under pressure to work for the NSA. Like me, he enjoys his private and unscrutinized life in Civvy Street.
WE met again through E2, co-incidentally. Neither of us remembers exactly where. David thinks it was the Penderel's Oak pub in London, I recall The Bricklayer's Arms. Wherever it was, it was wonderful to see him again. A few years later, after I moved to California to nurse Christine through cancer, he visited us on several occasions. I was delighted to discover recently that he's moved again, this time to Portlandia (and got married, no less!) My next road trip will doubtless take me through that city and I'm going to drag him out for a few corretos and pick that wonderful brain. He's not going to tell me what he's up to these days, because a man must keep some secrets, but I do know he continues his fencing (swordplay, not handling stolen goods!) and I see his hand in The Guardian crossword puzzle setting still.
† Posted with his permission.
For LieQuest 2024: A Lie Quest of Mythologically Discordian Proportions
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