why did i read what i knew i should not?
the same reasons as any
voyeur -
i only wanted to feel close to you
but when i opened
pandora's box, i found horror
i don't want to know what i learned
i want what i did undone
you aren't here to dispel a single thought
and i'm halfway around the world, alone
armed only with fading
memory to fight vibrant cruel
imagination
if mere illusion it was before
i still want that illusion restored
when i told you i loved you you answered the same
but you added that i was your second
it thrilled me that we were alike in this way
but i guess my meaning was different than yours
and every conversation we've had
you've had with one person or another before
do i pretend this never happened?
do i confess?
am i stupid enough to ask more questions,
to hear answers i'm not prepared to accept?
will i be another precious scar on your past -
words kept, but voice forgotten?
or maybe i never mattered to you
and me, you'll erase completely