They sell everything.

This phone number goes to a company that sells various products that are advertised on TV. Each product tries to appear that it is the only one sold at that number. So the operators who answer the phone have to pretend they know exactly which product you're referring to when you call them. This is what makes them extremely fun to prank.

Some memorable conversations:

"Hello, how may I help you?"

"Yes, I'd like to order a clone."


"No, no, a clone."

"I'm not sure I know what you're referring to."

"I want that service that was in the TV ad, you know, where they make a copy of me. A clone."

"Is that possible?"

"Hello, how may I help you?"

"I'm calling to order an ICBM."

"Uh, a what?"

"An intercontinental ballistic missile."

"Just a sec." (frantic flipping through a catalog) "I'm not sure we sell anything by that name. Could you give me another name for it?"

"Okay, how about if you look under tactical nuke?"

"What exactly is it?"

"You know, a kind of missile. It's just one of those days that I feel like nuking Russia, you know?"

(pause as the operator tries to decide whether she heard me say that, and decides against it)

"Uh, okay, let me look that up."
(more flipping through the catalog)
"I'm sorry, it doesn't seem we have anything like that."

"Oh, that's too bad, I saw it on TV and I really wanted to buy one."

"Well, maybe you could call (another 800 number) and ask for assistance there."

"All right."

"I'm sorry I couldn't be of help."

"Have a nice day." (hey, this person gave me the most amusing phone call I've ever made, they deserve some thanks)

(I hang up)

Among all the calls my friends and I made to this number, this was the only one where the operator didn't hang up prematurely.

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