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The best alcohol drink I ever did taste was the 1-900-FUK-MEUP. I have only ever had it once but ever since then I’ve craved it. I will tell you first how to make it, then I will tell you about my experiences with this wonderful drink.

The ingredients are:

To make it just shake ingredients in a mixing tin filled with ice cubes. Then strain into a rocks glass. It is usually served in a Whisky Sour Glass. In most bartending books it is listed as an X Rated Drinks if it is listed at all.

The cost varies. It can cost as little as $2.50 but usually is much higher. I paid $7.50 at Montanas, a country and western club in Southern California.

And now the part you have all been waiting for….

*drumroll please*

Hello, my name is Bleu. This is my account of what it’s like to drink a 1-900-Fuk-MEUP. It was a Friday night. I was 22 years old, which was a year older than most of my friends. We had been going to a club called Montana’s almost every Friday for a while now. It’s one of those places where they do mainly line dancing and have $2 shot specials and every so often the local country radio station broadcasts live from. I spotted the recipe for this drink in a drink recipe book and thought “Now there is a drink!” So I copied the recipe into the little pocket sized memo pad I take everywhere with me. (My memory is about equivalent to that of a goldfish.)

So on this particular night at the club I asked for the drink and the cocktail waitress looked at me clueless. “Let me go ask the bartender. I’ll be right back.” He didn’t know either, so I pulled the recipe out of my pocket and handed it to her. She took it to the bartender and several minutes later returned with my little piece of paper and a red drink with two straws, in a tall skinny glass.

Well, I’m selfish, so I immediately hid one of the straws and sucked on the other one. It was delicious! Similar in taste to a Zombie but better. A fruity taste. The alcohol is strong but sweet. My friends all wanted to taste it. I did not want to share but did not really have much of a choice. So of the 5 people I was with, 4 wanted to taste it. The other one just shook her head at our consumption of alcohol.

Shortly after this they announced “Men In Black” was next dance and since that and the electric slide were the only dances we as a group had taken lessons for they wanted to go dance, but I was NOT going to leave my precious drink behind! So I sipped it quickly, but not so quickly as to not enjoy it. I missed about half of that dance but watched my friends fall all over the place then joined them when I’d sucked my 1-900-Fuk-MEUP dry. Was feeling pretty good at this point, as this was not my first beverage of the night, having had a couple of Smirnoff Ice’s.

When the dance was over I decided that despite the fact that the drink was close to $8 a glass I wanted one more. By the time I had finished that I was quite fun. In general I’m a very introverted person. I rarely speak to people. I certainly don’t make myself the center of attention. I try to blend into the crowd or disappear completely. Not this night though! I was out on that dance floor out dancing everyone. I was talking to guys I’d never met! I even did the two step with a man I had only seen once before, there at the club.

This was a far cry from the normally shy Bleu that everyone was used to. I am normally very soft spoken. I’ll go out on the dance floor, if, and only if all my friends are sounding me then I barely dance. On this night I sad, “I don’t care if you want to or not! I’m gonna dance!” And I did, with EVERYONE who was near. I was loud. I was funny. I stumbled all over the dance floor and told people. “Hi, I’m drunk!” And giggled a lot.

I have been told of some of my escapades that night but most of it I do not actually remember saying or doing, but it sounds like I had a great time!

A word of caution:
If you are going to enjoy this drink please be prepared. A few friends, a camera (video is best) and knee pads are useful. Be prepared to hear about your escapades for months or years afterwards.

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