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It's 2am. You're bored, but wide awake. You've got some friends, and a couple of cars, and maybe 10 or 20 bucks burning a hole in your collective pocket. Maybe you live in an area with a reasonably high concentration of sidewalk newspaper boxes; you know the kind -- put in a couple of quarters, take out a newspaper. Or several.

Therein lies the game. Sometime before 5am, those boxes are all emptied and their contents replaced with today's news. So, really, what's the harm in taking a few extra papers? By my calculations, not much. At least, not enough to worry about.

So what you do is go into 7-11. Buy something. Maybe a pack of cigarettes, a Slurpee, or some donuts. Make sure you've got lots of extra cash, though. When purchasing, ask for a roll or 2 of quarters. It's 2am. They'll get more quarters in the morning. They'd be happy to give you some, if only to keep you from robbing them.

Split into teams, and give each team an equal number of quarters. I'm sure you see where I'm going here. Agree on a meeting place and time, and drive. Fast. And be wily. It's all about getting there first. Put in a quarter or two, and take the papers. All of them. Quickly. There are a number of reasons for speed.

First, you can hit more boxes, of course. More importantly, though, when people see you out at 2am taking piles of newspapers from boxes, they'll know somthing is afoot. Sometimes they call the cops. Okay, they always call the cops. That's where being wily comes in.

This game works particularly well on Sunrise Highway on Long Island: there are train stations every few miles, and each one has several newspaper boxes. The trick, as I've said, is clever planning. Skip a station and get ahead of the competition. That way, by the time they get there, not only are the boxes empty, but the cops are probably cruising the parking lot. You don't want to get arrested playing this game. It would be pretty silly.

At the end of the alotted time, count your newspapers. Whoever has more papers is the winner. The losing team ought to carry them to the recycling bin, although this is purely optional.

Sure this sounds stupid, but when you're a suburban teenager with nothing better to do, it's a hell of a lot of fun. Just don't get caught. I'd have to mock you.

This is probably illegal, and almost definitely wrong. You probably oughtn't do it.

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