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What: This node is an attempt to solidify ajaxlemoN's first w/u on the subject and make it more valid, as to meet the basic requirements for a good w/u. I have included a brief history (information is limited) as well as an update.

To Node for the Ages I'll have to include ajaxlemoN's list, though it makes me feel like a bastard. So I'll just quote his entire list and credit it to him:
  • My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
  • Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
  • Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
  • John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
  • Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
  • Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
  • Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
  • Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
  • Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
  • Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
  • Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
  • Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
  • Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
  • Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
... To put some authority to ajaxlemoN's w/u, the above list was from a high school lounge in Conneticut. The list was released initially intra-school, then by fax from friend-to-friend. This was determined from the early sequence of faxes I have here on my desk - watching the headers change.

Along the way it made it to the net in several different locations, with the following lines added. They are probably false in authenticity, though this is not confirmed. I have several faxes here, some have them, some don't, some have a mix:
  • Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
  • Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
  • Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
  • Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.
  • I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
  • Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday we thought it was Sunday.
  • My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
  • Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
  • Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
As ajaxlemoN noted, these are origional spellings and not my own. *grin*
Sources: Several faxes found in my parent's closet a few years ago, plus one photocopy of a fax my girlfriend had in hers.

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