Caution Spoilers Ahead

I just got back from seeing this movie. I was expecting it to be funny (which it was). I was expecting to see some pointless nudity (which I saw). What I wasn't expecting was for this movie to make me cry.

I am not going to discuss the entire film here. What I am going to talk about is the one sub-plot that I believe the whole movie was really all about. That sub-plot is Jim (the "pie" guy), and Michelle (the band camp girl).

Nadia (the naked foreign exhange student), is supposed to come and visit Jim at the end of the summer. Jim (Jason Biggs), is of course a complete nervous wreck (because of what happened last time). Jim seeks out Michelle (the only girl he ever slept with), for some advice. He meets her at band camp (where else would she be). They talk. Michelle agrees to help Jim get over his awkwardness with girls. While at band camp Jim somehow gets mistaken for a mentally retarted boy named Petey. He ends up on stage, where he has to perform a trombone solo. Of course it goes off pretty badly since Jim can't play the trombone.

Jim soon manages to get himself into a situation involving superglue and masturbation. This leaves him unable to use his, uh, penis, until the end of the summer. This would be fine, except that Nadia shows up a week early. Michelle comes up with a plan. She pretends to be Jim's girlfriend until his penis is healed. During this week they get to know each other and have a lot of fun.

Jim then takes off the bandages and finds that he is recovered. Michelle stages a big break up scene in front of Nadia, where she manages to hurl insults at him, but still compliment his lovemaking skills, and abilities at anal sex.. She then walks out and gets into her car, smiling at first, then her expression changes to one of sadness (of course everyone knows that she has fallen for Jim at this point).

Later Jim and Nadia go into a lighthouse (to have sex for the first time). Nadia wants Jim to tell her some of his stories (since she has already told him all of hers). Jim starts off his story with, "This one time at band camp". He pauses for a second, and then finishes the story in true band camp style. He then apologizes to Nadia, and tells her that she isn't the one. She says, "Is that band geek". Jim tells her, "I'm a band geek too. I just never joined the band".

Jim rushes off to the band camp to find Michelle. He finds her onstage, just starting to play a flute solo. Jim brought along a trombone. He begins playing loudly (and badly), from the back of the stands. Michelle stops playing. Jim rushes up and kisses her in front of everyone. The audience gives Jim a standing ovation (they still all think he is the retarded kid they mistook him for earlier). I was crying like a little girl by this point, because this is all I ever wanted out of life. I also had a flute toting band nerd girlfriend myself (so that may have made this scene affect me more than other people).

So Jim ends up with his true love Michelle. Leaving Nadia all alone. All alone that is until "The Shermanator" comes to her rescue (but that is another story).

This whole plot could have never happened if the original American Pie had used the ending that was originally written (which was Jim meeting up with Nadia at a hotel in Europe to have wild monkey sex). That ending wasn't filmed because the movie had already gone over budget. Thus paving the way for American Pie 2.

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