there are giants in the earth...
among them i feel safe.
there are giants in the earth...
gentle, and sturdy. (gentle, giving, reaching and strong)
there are giants in the earth...
and under the shelter of their great arms, she confided.
i want to tell you something.
      tell me.
it's a secret...
      you can tell me.
i pinch myself.
sometimes i pinch myself as hard as i can.
      why would you do that, love?
when my heart hurts, i hurt myself on the outside.

i bite my lip to keep from crying--
to keep the hurt outside, so the inside wouldn't hurt.
my eyes well, but only one tear falls...
so many things caught in a single drop of saline.

when i pulled the covers up for her nap, i noticed she hugged me a little closer than usual

i looked down at my arms--the bracelets, the thick-banded watch...
the spidery white lines that crawl up from each.
you know me and have never noticed?
i'm not surprised--i wasn't trying to really hurt myself, just distract...

if you've ever seen my tears, i considered you--at least for a moment--an angel.
if you've ever wiped my eyes--felt my tears on your fingertips--than i considered you a savior.

i need someone to save me now.
to teach her that the soul does not slip, in tears, from the body...
that it remains, that it can heal, and sometimes even forget.
and the pain of this etched on my soul...
i hurt the outside part so the inside doesn't hurt
     what made you tell me?
i know you hurt. i can hear you cry sometimes
she told me that she pinches and scrapes the top of her legs and her stomach so nobody asks what happened...
so "nobody is sad because i'm sad".
with my eyes and my hair.
with my crooked ring fingers and curled toes.
the love of my life.
she surprises and delights me....
with mount fuji on my windowsill,
with night skies in magic marker and glitter,
and with this.

she is more like me than i ever imagined.

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