August 2, 2009

Today I woke up after three hours of sleeping, at about 6 a.m., which is sort of weird.

The weird part is just begining :
I fell asleep again soon afterwards, after having a glass of Pepsi with Lemon Juice, and had smoked 2 cigarettes.
I dreamt I was in a school yard, with people I know. We had just finished classes, and were heading home. It was winter, and there was lots of fresh white snow on the ground.
Then, I guy I know - a boy from college - started to hit on me. I usually detest when somebody does that, but this time I permitted it, mostly because I find him quite attractive, even in real life.
I open here an explanation for studying it later : HE, is not the one I care deeply for, rather a ''most popular&trendy guy'' in college. He also confessed to me, recently, that he has become infatuated with me.

Then I eluded him, and headed home, along with 2 of my girl - classmates. We decided to stop at one's house, for a hot drink.
There I had come upon her cat. And a good part of my dream involved my fascination for her cat, her blue-green eyes, and her fur.
Her eyes and fur could change color, becoming both lime-green, as well as baby-blue ; her fur was either coal-black, or lavish, imperial grey.

Today I woke up at 6 a.m. after 7 hours of sleep. I don't remember one fragment of detail about any dreams I had because I slept well. It's probably better to not be tired the whole day than to remember a stupid dream and be tired.

The whole purpose of getting up so early is to have the house to myself. My parents are already up watching television. This puzzles me.

Maybe I am dreaming right now. How do I know this isn't a dream. It sure feels like one. It kinda hurts when I pinch myself, but one time I had a dream where something hurt as well.

What if my whole life was a dream? I know this kind of idea has been said before many times, thought before countless more, but what if it was really me and that is why everyone seems to think the same? Are we all the same person just expressed in different bodies?

Wait. Back up. I don't like to think about stuff like this. It frightens me to question the things that keep me grounded. I'll just think about shallow, happy ideas.

Today, I woke up at 7:00 am after roughly seven hours of sleep. I'm going to make progress, I swear to myself that I am.

My room is going to get clean... Dammit! I'm going to start with all the clothes. Clothes I don't wear anymore and don't want, I'm donating. Clothes I don't wear but want to keep because they mean something (FCA shirt, etc) I'm going to pack away. Jeans, and t-shirts, I will fold up in dresser drawers, and work/dress clothes I will hang in the closet along with jackets and bathrobes, etc.

I figure once the clothes are semi-permanently organized, the rest of my stuff will come together easier.

On an unrelated subject, May 22 of this year I got my first haircut since July 2002. My hair is short, and it is freaky. When I got out of the shower that first day, I put on my shirt and went to pull my ponytail out of the back of the shirt, and the ponytail wasn't there...

I'm used to it now, but I'm going to grow my hair long again, I think. I sort of just wanted to start over. When I grew it out the first time, I was 16 and much less ... experienced... compared to myself now. It's sort of like cutting the ties of my past, and growing new memories, or something, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, I've been away for a good while. How are you people?