The mailbox is showing my bills overflowing
And while there’s nothing so special about this
They seem to come everyday and so I will pay
To keep my lifestyle sealed with a kiss
But today’s not the same, it’s the day I was given my name
But there’s nary a card within sight
The mailbox is empty as empty as can be
And that’s something that just isn’t right
No the phone didn’t ring and there’s nobody to sing
Nor a message left on the machine
The quiet’s too loud but I’m much too proud
To sit here and dream what I dream
So I got me some beer and I made my own cheer
And I offered me up a toast
“Here’s to the best and screw all the rest”
And continued on with my boast
As the beers went away I went looking to play
But nothing would come to my mind
Too drunk to think or even to drink
I went searching for something to find
But soon I got bored of still being ignored
And I went looking for something to do
And I pulled out a box then undid the locks
And my eyes misted over with dew
I pulled out the gun thinking I’d have me some fun
And squeezed a round off into the air
But it ricocheted down and all the way ‘round
Until it came to rest in my chair
So feeling quite lucky and just a bit plucky
I figured I’d tried it again
But the results weren’t the same and I say with some shame
This time it lodged in my brain
At first there’s no feeling but then I went reeling
Down the hallway towards the phone
The blood started dripping and I started tripping
And all I could make was a moan
My body went numb and I was feeling too dumb
To put up much of a fight
The thought of too many years and not enough tears
And things that just weren’t right
And as I lay on the floor with my head really sore
My life slowly ebbing away
The last thought in my head was something that said
“What a way to spend a birthday”
So Happy Birthday to me, I guess now you see
That bad things can happen real quick
People have to be there and at least pretend that they care
To keep me from being a dick