Well look-y here I'm still alive.
sometimes I struggle, sometimes I thrive
But I begin to recognize
My depression only speaks in lies.
Pouring over old poured out words,
looking over old scars and hurts
where every day I feared the worst,
That my very soul may well be cursed.
And yet here I stand alive and well?
I guess that only time will tell
Since it seems I don't tell the future well
but still my mind drags me down to hell
Self-destructive but not enough to
send me to the very edge.
I can't seem to push me hard enough to
swallow the pills until I'm dead.
Half-alive and half of nothing
trapped all day and night inside my head.
Escape to books, to games, to movies
the last ditch effort escape to bed.
A house of cards my hands hold up
but one wrong move will knock it down.
And Plan B and C and D and E
are all to put me in the ground.
But here I am, still alive
And everyday I hope to thrive
And one day maybe I'll recognize
a form of me I don't despise.