David Manning

David Manning of The Ridgefield Press is the Film Critic who, well, isn't. What isn't he? He isn't anything actually.

David Manning, who gave glowing quotes about such Hollywood slag piles as "The Animal", is nothing more than a figment in the minds of the Sony Pictures Advertising Department. An unknown (or at least un-named) Sony Pictures employee created "him" sometime around July of 2000 by taking a name of a friend and the name of a newspaper chosen at random. No one in the Sony Pictures PR Department questioned his quotes, presumably because they didn't want to spoil a good thing, and thus the charade was born.

When one of the more curious Newsweek staffers got a fishy smell about Manning, Newsweek questioned Sony about the reviewer's state of authenticity. Althought they folded like a cheap suit, they still maintain that they did nothing really "wrong", but simply excercised poor judgment. Much like when they decided to make "The Animal" in the first place.

References: MSNBC: http://www.msnbc.com/news/581770.asp?cp1=1

Y'know, none of this fake critic shit would matter to someone who didn't pay attention to critics in the first place.

Psssst! Hey, you. Yeah, you over there, reading Entertainment Weekly to help you decide which movie to see. Here's a thought ... think for yourself!

What, you were expecting an ethical entertainment industry in a consumer society that values entertainment above all else?

I find outrage over Sony's tricks a little amusing. We see movies because we want to be manipulated. To expect the industry not to want to manipulate all points of that process is a little misguided.

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So, Senso, if you don't watch Hollywood movies why do you frickin' care about a fake critic who only writes 'reviews' about movies made by Hollywood studios? Your elitism is showing ... now shuffle off and go see L.I.E., mmmkay?

David Manning has also now become a Discordian Saint. In the great Discordian tradition of taking up those, like Saint Christopher who don't actually exist and making them our saints, we have given him a permanent home.

Manning shares a job with Ambrose Bierce now, namely being the person to whom we can attribute any random phrase we wish to attribute to someone.

Some Manning quotes:
"I hate it when people attribute made-up quotes to Ambrose Bierce"
"You're my wife now, Dave"
"Stigmata Blood may irritate skin and cause minor rashing"
"Stealth Munchkin are the band the Beatles should have been"
"For future reference, theologians tend to agree that when Jesus finally does return he's not likely to be driving a pickup truck."
"The policeman isn't there to create disorder, the policeman is there to preserve disorder."

All quotes taken from the Yahoo Discordia list.