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Three dreams in one night; this is about to become exhausting.. There are some breaks between the dreams because I woke up every time after each dream.


First dream takes a place in the computer lab (QUB). There are fluorescent lamps in the ceiling but one of them has lost its grating. That makes it possible for me to see the mirror inside the lamp and see images reflecting from mirror. (The mirror is there for reflecting light of the lamp back..) The lamp itself is also removed and only the shell is left so it works perfectly as a mirror.

I'm using my computer and I happened to take a look up to this lamp-mirror and I see something I shouldn't. There are about 7 other guys in the lab and from the mirror I see one of them masturbating. It's impossible to notice what he's doing if you don't look at the mirror. I have to ensure that I saw it correctly and I attempt to take a look below the tables. But it's not the same guy; there's also other guy doing handjob. I rise my sight again to the mirror and now I notice how third guy is downloading pictures of nude women into his hi-tech mobile and he's "petting" himself.

So, here we are, three guys masturbating but trying to keep it secret. One of them is more brave than others and he actually has almost undressed his pants dropping them to the knees. He tries to ejaculate but doesn't manage to. He stoops towards the table and computer building up the pace.

I don't want to interrupt. I just continue what I'm doing and occasionally looking at them from the corner of my eyes.


The second dream traces back to highschool and sports class. We are going to play ice hockey but me and couple of other guys don't have skates. However, our teacher has a spare pair but he had forgotten them outside on the ice for previous night. The skates are terribly cold; frozen. I take them anyway because I don't want to have substitute sports i.e. walking.


The last dream is situated in the army but, however, our clothing is free; not those uniforms. Me and my mate had been wandering around on our own and we know the bosses are not too happy with that. But we are not like escaping nor desperately trying to avoid to get caught and taken back to army. We are walking on the street which by an accident takes us to barracks but not those of ours. Something just drags us towards these barracks, like an inner calling or at least we have to bypass it nearby.

Soldiers in the barracks espy us and they come out after us, trying to get us back. But these are not ordinary soldiers but soldiers with giant animal costumes. All of them has dressed up a squirrel costume just like in Trigger Happy TV and instead of modern assault rifles they have muskets. The squirrels are perfectly silent. Their silence is a bit worrying. My mate has also a musket but I've got no weapons at all. There's also a car on the street and my mate stays standing next to the car. He's ready to surrender. He knows it's inevitable and he hopes to help me to escape by causing some confusion among the squirrel-soldiers. I have jumped into the ditch on the side of the road. I just keep laying there while squirrels capitulate my mate and they notice me as well. I don't make any effort to run from them but I practice some passive resistance refusing to walk with them. They have to carry me away.

(scene transform)
Now, there are no squirrels but army recruits (again without uniforms) who consist of merely girls. (Nowadays there are women in the Finnish army but that wasn't the case when I served.) Girls try to drag me in front of the captain but I managed to get rid of them and escape. I take a short run but I know they gonna get me soon, so there's no point trying to any decisive move. They get their hands on me and I actually like the feeling how they are grapping me, all these girls (they are many). I also like their attitude, how they are so enthuasted about this thing, my escape and all the military stuff. To be honest, there's also certain amount of contempt in my feelings towards them but it just makes me more powerful and self-confident. They are so afraid of authorities but I don't give a shit.

They also realize that I feel like being better than them and they start to threaten me, saying I'll face the captain Matti Tuikka. (He was the captain of my unit IRL.) Captain Tuikka is actually present and he sees all the hassle there's going on. They put me to sit inside a car but for a second they lost their attention and I'm on my way again. And again, I'm not making the full effort. I sort of enjoy annoying them by making half assed efforts to escape. This time one of the girls produces a very nice tackle dashing on my foot rugby-style. A bit amazingly, I can quite easily keep my balance. They got me once again but now there are less girls lugging me into the car.

I know the driver. He's Mikko Siivonen, an old mate of mine from school and basketball. While they're trying to get me in (I don't really resist) there's also more trouble on the yard. One Asian guy (there are very few of them in Finland) has lost his temper and is shouting to captain. My muslim friend from Northern Ireland tries to calm the guy down but he's not very successful. My friend knows the Asian is about to get into trouble and he feels pity for him. Tuikka, the captain, walks away with a red face, full of anger. There's also one important guy visiting the barracks. This guy is very high in the ranks of the army and he's really amazed by all the fuzzing.

Meanwhile, I take a front seat in the car but there's no too much space because there's amazingly fat guy sitting on the back. Wonder how he got himself in. Mikko takes a seat beside me and is about to start driving.

(scene transform)
We are inside the barracks and we are told to form a couple line. There's far too much people and forming the lines doesn't work out. There's even children and women among us and they seem to be essential part of the army. (As before, no one wears uniform.)

I'm feeling really bad because last time I broke off the army before I was supposed to and now I have to spend here only three months but it feels like eternity. My old not-so-good friend Jussi Helminen is there also and says: "It's good that Mattias is not here." (Actually, he means Peter Ekblad and everyone knows what he meaned. However, no one corrects him.) Jussi almost certainly tries to say that for some strange reason "Mattias" is not here even he is supposed to. My very good friend Korma (he was never in army due to diabetes) responses: "But he left the army a while ago."

Jussi is really fucked up for poor line-forming ability of the crowd: "Fuck, they can't even form a simple line." He's right about the ability but there's no need to worry. Someones try to leave their coats on the racks. More confusion. I look them coming and going, bumping each others. I feel good and I smile because I don't care.

Eventually they manage to form not-so-decent lines but sergeants let us move anyway. Jussi: "Good stuff, finally we get out of here." (He actually says "good stuff" in English even though otherwise the language used has always been Finnish.)

I slip away as no one can properly see thanks to all buzzing. I don't have any shirt but my naked upper body doesn't stop me going. Surprisingly enough, I have a bar that is used in log driving in my hands. This is like a subsitute for a gun. In the nose of the bar there's green shorts. Two other pieces of cloth I keep in my armpit. The gatekeeper stares at me and can't believe what he sees. I clumsily run past him with my bar. But it's not a bar what amazes him but my shirtless clothing. The dress code definitely doesn't match with that of the army. But this time there's no one to stop me. I'm jogging towards home and for my surprise it's really nearby.

Too much anime and MegaTokyo.

I dreamt I was going to Japan. Okay, sounds pretty cool I guess, and I was rather stoked on going in my dream. Unfortunately I didn't have time to pack and this was the problem. I got off work and realized I didn't have time to go home and pack. Somehow I did get home and found that I had a half-packed suitcase that my mom was packing, but I had to take it only half-packed because I had no time. I was anxious because I didn't have any other clothes.

Tom Green was also going to Japan and he got on the plane just before me. I lost sight of him, however.

Upon arrival in Japan I was immediately hit with the problem of communication. I tried to order some food but found the items unpronouncable, despite the fact they were written in english characters. The chef behind the counter was grumbling and I couldn't have understood him even if he spoke english.

Then I woke up and found I was late for work.

I had some weird dreams last night. It is important to understand that I didn't really sleep at all well, and kept drifting in and out of sleep. The result was many sketchy, random dreams that didn't really go anywhere. The birds woke me up at 4:30 which is a shame because I don't have school today and was hoping to sleep in late. Oh well... here are some of the more interesting ones:

I'm riding along in a car with kajerm, and we approach a drawbridge. Everything's going fine, except there are no signs or red lights or anything to let us know whether or not the drawbridge is up. It appears to be raising to let a boat through, but the traffic all around us keeps going. We decide to continue, and just barely make it as the drawbridge opens. As if that were not enoug of a close call, immediately after we reach the other side, a group of Iraqi fighter jets fire missiles at the bridge, but don't destroy it. Later on in the dream, we have some wacky adventure involving a wrecking ball that I don't remember to clearly.

Another dream I had was that the grocery store had been selling weed for a rather long time... but it had been disguised as other things. For example, I remember quite clearly that the hash oil was really grenadine, and the buds were those small explosives you snap on the sidewalk. The really disturbing part is that in this dream I became a dealer (here's the kicker) because my mom told me to. Isn't that weird?

The last dream that I can remember with any clarity whatsoever is that I was noding and a bunch of gods who had created E2 /msg-ed me to say that they really liked my write-up. They were really cool, and later on I met them and they were all dressd like super heroes. The disappointing thing is that I can not remember what the name of the write-up was. I've been racking my brain to remember the topic for this glorious inspiration that appeared to me in a vision, but my hopes have yet to meet with fruition.

I dreamed I was buying sunscreen. Not just any sunscreen, mind: it was special. Custom-made for me, supposedly, but there were eight shelves full of it. I was with two of my friends in a Wal-Mart-esque setting, and we were reading the labels to try to find the perfect sunscreen. I wanted something that made me look tan, and was glittery, but it had to have an SPF of 45 as well. We sat down and commenced reading the backs of every tube in sight.
"Supernova, this one causes cancer," announces my friend L. "You should take a test to see if you have cancer."
The "test" for cancer involved a circular piece of paper with two lines drawn inside the perimeter: one that was healthy, and one that was my "reading". We sat and turned the entire piece of paper, holding our breath, until we got to that fatal place where the lines diverged. I was ill. I shrieked, some words no longer intelligible to my brain (it's been 14 hours since this "happened") but I'm sure they were pertinent at the time. Then I began to float... or so I thought.
I was en pointe, so to say, on my bare feet. I looked down and just took in the view: a forest, with my friends standing there looking up at me (this is quite humorous as I am barely five feet tall.)

I woke up then... I didn't mean to.

I'm kicking back in a bar with Jude Law, who confides in me that he suffers from a disease, a sort of cross between labyrinthitis and claustrophobia, where he gets dizzy and nauseous when someone is really close to his face, especially when he's kissed. I realize that he could never watch any of his own movies.

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