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We've all seen those inane teen magazine quizzes at some point. What would one be like if it were a geek (i.e. realistic) magazine?

1) You're sitting in the library reading a book on chemistry. You see him across the room. He waves to you. Do you:

a) Ignore him and turn red.

b) Wave back, then go back to your book.

c) File sexual harassment charges.

d) Go over and start a conversation.

2) You're coding. He walks up and asks some question. Do you:

a) Ignore him.

b) Politely tell him to fuck off.

c) File stalking complaints.

d) Answer his question politely, perhaps making some small talk and introducing yourself in the process.

3) He seems to lose interest in you. For two weeks you hardly say a word to each other. Do you:

a) Walk up to him and start a conversation, then hurry off and ignore him for two weeks, despite his attempts to communicate with you.

b) Cheer inwardly.

c) Feel self-conscious about your personality and appearance, and conclude that there must be something wrong with you.

d) Go up to him and try to start a meaningful conversation. Continue doing this for a while until he feels more comfortable.

4) You change jobs, change schools, or experience some other situation which results in the two of you not seeing each other daily. The movement is only across town, though, so a relationship (romantic or platonic) is still possible. He sends you a Christmas card. Do you:

a) Leave it on a table to collect dust unopened before throwing it away.

b) Read it, then throw it away.

c) Send him a polite response back, telling him about your life and what's going on, and ask him to write back. When he does write back not once, not twice, but three times over the course of three months or so, never respond. Let him think that you're dead; it will make him appreciate you more.

d) Write back telling him about your life and what's going on, and ask him to write back. When he does write back, send a reasonably timely response. Continue until either he asks you out for lunch, or you get bold enough to ask him yourself.

5) At an event which signifies the above kind of moving (e.g. college graduation), you run into each other. He makes eye contact with you, and you're about three feet away. Do you:

a) Ignore him. If he comes toward you, run away like an idiot.

b) Meet his eyes, smile at him, wave, and leave.

c) Ignore him and walk the other way like you don't see him. After all, if he really likes you, he'll go track you down after you've been doing similar things for years.

d) Walk up to him and say your goodbyes. Since you both like each other, exchange phone numbers or something. Of course, you know that he either has your number or can easily get it because he's a geek and a hacker, but you realize that you're giving him an invitation to contact you by giving him the information yourself.

6) After several weeks of associating with the guy in a work or class environment, you realize that he genuinely cares for you platonically, and you know that he wouldn't mind a romantic relationship if events allow. Do you:

a) Ignore him.

b) Tell him to fuck off.

c) Begin ignoring and actively avoiding him, even though you feel the same way, because you can't seem to handle someone caring for you without trying to get you into bed and without him being a total dumbass.

d) Try to cultivate the friendship, which isn't all that hard, and let it grow into a romance if that's what you want.

7) You have been ignoring this guy off and on for over a year. You know he's confused out of his skull and probably doesn't care anymore, but you know that if you asked him out he would probably accept. Finally some event comes along and you want to ask him out. Do you:

a) Not ask him out because you're having fun ignoring him.

b) Walk up to him, then proceed to insult his parentage, spread some rumors, and call him some names. Then ask him out.

c) Rehearse some poetic comment in which you ask him out. Walk up to him and rattle it off. Keep in mind that you've confused him so thoroughly that he probably won't realize that you're asking him out. Get insulted when he has no idea what you're talking about.

d) Walk up, apologize for your behavior, and then ask him out.

Finding your score:

If you answered mostly "A", then you're an idiot. You're never going to get anywhere in a relationship, because you ignore anyone and everyone.

If you answered mostly "B", then you're a bitch. You're only going to attract spineless little weasels who have no self confidence and like to be abused.

If you answered mostly "C", then you're a psycho-bitch. You enjoy playing with men's minds. While you're intelligent and may be a nice person, you confuse the hell out of people because your actions make absolutely no logical sense. You're just going to piss off every guy who likes you.

If you answered mostly "D", congratulations. You might actually have a shot at dating the guy, and might actually have a meaningful relationship. Good luck, and have fun.

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