Most songs sound the same these days. They all plagiarise one another's lyrics, and even if you haven't heard a song before, the words are predictable so anyone can join in.

Here are a few of my own, so you too can make up your own Number 1 hit:

Ooo, (a) baby (b) sweet thang (c) I’m on fire (d) I stood in something
I gotta get me some of that (a) lovin’ (b) good stuff (c) pie (d) cake
You’re breaking (a) my heart (b) up with me (c) out in a cold sweat (d) wind
Why do you keep (a) pushin’ me away (b) hurting me (c) comin’ back (d) stalking me
Our love is like (a) a candle in the wind (b) fire and ice (c) a broken record (d) a porcupine
I gotta make (a) sweet lovin’ to ya (b) it up to you (c) more money, honey (d) babies with you
Your eyes remind me of (a) tepid pools (b) your sisters (c) your mothers (d) my fathers
My eyes (a) adore you (b) watch you across the room (c) glaze right over (d) stare down at your chest
Shake your (a) bon bon (b) money maker (c) castanets (d) fists at me if you love me baby
You must be a (a) heaven sent angel (b) Capricorn (c) train conductor (d) fisherman’s wife
Why don’t we just (a) get out of here (b) go back to my place (c) tear each other’s clothes off (d) wrestle naked in jelly
Why can’t I be (a) you (b) your lover (c) your milkman (d) your dachshund
I wanna be (a) your lover (b) a drill instructor (c) nekid wit’ you (d) on top ‘cause it’s my turn
I want (a) what choo got (b) to rock with you (c) a pony (d) to be ridden like a pony
We’ve got (a) each other (b) what it takes (c) to get help (d) genital herpes from that threesome
What’s love (a) got to do with it (b) when there’s no you (c) got that lust hasn’t (d) to a three foot midget like me
Why don’t you come over here and (a) love me (b) soothe me (c) cook me something (d) show me that thing with the ping-pong balls again
I got you (a) under my skin (b) 12 red roses (c) now there's no escape (d) some prawn crackers from the buffet
How do you (a) do what you do to me (b) stop lovin' me (c) get into that outfit (d) undo this damn strap
I can't stop (a) lovin' you (b) dancing (c) there's too much traffic (d) laughing at your stupidity

Happy writing.

And don't forget where the idea came from when selling the ring-tone version...

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